Trauma. It’s how we are affected by bad experiences in life, and reactions can be anything from exhaustion, confusion, anxiety, and sadness, to numbness and dissociation. This can have long-term effects like cumulative stress and depression, which is why Jean Pierre Ndagijimana, a clinical psychologist and educator, has dedicated himself to helping people heal from distress, through Twitter threads, among other things.

"I am not trying to heal communities from a distance, I am part of the community that I am trying to heal. I am a wounded healer, my own childhood experiences (like many other Rwandans my age) were full of extreme trauma, scarcity, prolonged stress, loss, and grief,” he says.

"I have observed in my mental health practices here in Rwanda that many do not fully understand the influence of these wounds on their mental and physical wellbeing,” he adds.

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According to Psyche Central, an independent mental health information and news website, after a traumatic experience, it is common for one to lose a sense of safety, however, Ndagijimana observes that with self-awareness, people are better prepared to seek help.

"I love helping people unlock their untapped potential which most of the time is blurry and obscure when they are under the influence of trauma or chronic stress and depression,” he says.

Wellbeing

Ndagijimana, who started this line of work 13 years ago as a student at the University of Rwanda studying clinical psychology, says that he has observed the helplessness and pain of some parents as they try their best to make sure they do not pass it on to their children.

"I was very active in the community mental health practices, especially through my role as the president of the Clinical Psychology Students’ Association of Rwanda (CPSAR). Later on, I continued my studies and practices both in Rwanda and in the United States.”

In Ndagijimana’s line of work, he observes people from dysfunctional families or even couples, and, he says, there are traceable connections between their unhealthy relationship patterns and a history of prolonged stress and deep trauma.

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"I believe no one should be left alone as they navigate these complicated situations. It can be heavy, and results can be unpredictable (numbing feelings by drinking alcohol and/or abusing drugs, violence, and suicide, just to name a few potential dangerous outcomes from suffering in isolation,” he says.

Childhood trauma

Childhood trauma is a prevalent and almost universal occurrence and is defined as an event experienced by a child that evokes fear and is commonly violent, dangerous, or life-threatening, according to Very Well Mind, an online platform that provides wellness information by health professionals.

"Adverse childhood experiences leave some traces in our mental and physical health. Those unfortunate experiences at an early age have the potential to influence our perceived self-worth, our ability to trust ourselves or others, and the relationship we have with ourselves and others,” Ndagijimana says.

Ndagijimana is of the view that there are some survival mechanisms established in childhood that have the potential to create a pattern even when one is an adult.

Healing

It is important that people understand others before judging them, Ndagijimana says. "People need to be curious about each other’s experiences, understanding why things are the way they are before they start labelling and judging behaviour and attitude as simply bad.”

Another important part of the healing journey is to understand generational gaps in mental health. Parents and children may have different perceptions of mental health and may define it differently or even cope otherwise.

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A traumatic past can negatively impact one’s life in unlimited ways. They are likely to constantly live in the past and not enjoy the present.

"They might constantly check the doors while the rest of us are sure about our safety during the night. They can regret mistakes other people should be apologising for,” he says.

A helping hand

First, make sure the person is safe, for example, not alone and suicidal. If there is a need to and you have the means to cater to their fundamental necessities, like making sure they have something to eat, do it, Ndagijimana suggests.

"Strengthen their social support systems; walk with them in the process to halt those unhelpful patterns. Breaking the pattern can be hard and may take time and patience. You may also need to encourage them to seek professional support,” he says.

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Many adults and senior citizens today have lived with trauma for years as a result of the country’s dark past, which is why it is imperative to help people heal, regardless of how long it takes.

Ndagijimana believes there is so much he has learned about healing, especially through exposure to different cultures and practices in different parts of the world.

Today, he is committed to using that exposure to help Rwandans. Healing requires time, commitment, and radical support from family members, social circles, and experts as well, he says. Seeking help is hard but it is worth it. Family members and social circles need to play key roles.

"What brings me joy in this work is individuals telling me they are no longer suicidal and are succeeding in school, are more productive at work, and their love life has improved,” he says, adding, "Working with individuals and communities on their healing journey has given me the opportunity to connect with my own story and experiences.”