I am a young man engaged and ready to get married to my fiancée of six years. We have a small issue concerning our religions. While I am a Catholic she is a Protestant and not ready to join my faith.

I on the other hand can’t leave my church to join hers. This issue which was once a small one is now a big monkey.  We have set a wedding date but no one is willing to go to the other person’s church to exchange the vows.

I thought women should be the ones to join their husband’s church, but my fiancée is adamant, am actually getting tired of begging her. Should I postpone the wedding for a later date? What exactly should I do?

Emmanuel.

Dear Emmanuel,
When coming into a union religion is one topic that should be discussed first before any real commitment is made.

There are some cases whereby some partners are not willing to change their faiths because of a relationship and they quickly opt out, other women are more than willing to follow their husband’s religion, while there are some men who opt to follow their wives’ religion for one reason or other.

Either way a solution to this issue should be found, otherwise your marriage will start on a very shaky ground.
Six years is a long time to have ignored this issue, why did you have to go this far, without having discussed religion matters?

Did you know that a family that prays together stays together? Can you picture yourself in ten years’ time when children are involved?

One will be pulling children one side and the other partner will be pulling their own side, this will result into children being confused as to where exactly they belong.

There is nothing as good as seeing a family going to church together, and by the way this really bonds and unites a family- because they are always together.

In some countries it is very important to know one’s religion before they make any commitment, and when two people meet, and find out that they don’t share the same faith, they make a point of agreeing on which religion to follow if marriage will be involved, and this is what you should have done. Like me- during my courting days, I always made sure among the first things I asked the man of the moment was his religion beliefs, after making one mistake I decided never to date any man outside my catholic faith, and truly it helped me have a common ground with the person I was dating.

Both of you need to come to an understanding, and make decision as to which faith you should both follow, if push comes to shove choose a neutral ground to exchange your marriage vows, so that no one feels defeated, but then this choice will only be temporary and is not healthy in family settings. Good luck.

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