Bird Hunter choking in Alpha’s dust

The phenomenon called Alpha alias the numero uno, a.k.a. the number one is still causing ripples in the city. I had thought that his would be a few days of glory before he sinks into oblivion as it always happens to Rwandan stars.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The phenomenon called Alpha alias the numero uno, a.k.a. the number one is still causing ripples in the city. I had thought that his would be a few days of glory before he sinks into oblivion as it always happens to Rwandan stars.

We are used to the fact that there is simply no celebrity worship culture in Rwanda. But this seems to be changing now, and Alpha is the proud force behind this change. This is a development that has made me believe, that indeed nothing can’t change except change itself.

Surprisingly, the creatures called birds- even those that have for long been known to shun anything ‘satanic’ by frequenting ‘apostle’ Gitwaza’s joint for blessings, have now also turned to ‘apostle’ Alpha for I think artistic ‘healing.’

I am telling you that no other phenomenon has ever affected my bird hunting before like this Alpha whirlwind.

I have been following these developments with much amusement and disappointment as some birds even pretend not to know me. Some have even taken to donning the trademark (formerly) Islamic kilemba that Alpha and co; have been fond of wrapping around their shoulders.

They have turned this religious attire that is usually wrapped around the head into a fashion piece used as a scarf.

I actually have been thinking about setting some couple of militant chaps from Nyamijos against them for ‘misusing respected religious attire’ so that once they are through with them, Alpha would be forced to go into hiding leaving me in control once again.

But then, it seems that this guy is using some kind of black magic because everything I plan against him, simply doesn’t work.

I also suspect that it’s the same magic, that helped him to win the TPF title, because there is no way he would have beaten Ng’ang’alito from Kenyalito whose strengths include smelling money. 

I told you last week that I was planning to blackmail him into forfeiting the birds, or give me back the airtime (in cash this time) that I used to vote him to stardom.

He had also to give me back all the airtime that I gave to the birds that were busy voting him too, without my knowledge.

Neither did I know their intentions of voting him then. But when I prepared my ‘dossier’ and presented it to one of the learned friends in the city, he emphasized that I stood no chance of winning the case against the one and only number one.

When I tried talking to the ‘Mujehidins’ in Nyamijos about the ‘improper’ use of the Islamic attire, they told me that they had no ill feelings against Alpha or anyone for wearing the kilemba because they think that this is actually good PR for Islam. What do these guys smoke?

I am now left with no option, but playing the role of a hyena- lurking in the background patiently and hoping that Mr. Lion (Alpha) will feed to his fill and leave the left-overs to me. I don’t like this role at all, but then what option do I have? None, whatsoever!

But I am still sure that a great idea will come up soon and I will have the last laugh.

For now, I will just keep following the events as they unfold, as I try to find some loophole somewhere in Alpha’s plans before I pounce and turn things around. He will not know what hit him.

But for now things are really bad for me. I am a really sad man. I went to B-club where there was a ‘meet-the-TPF-star’ night, and what I saw there exacerbated my worries and insecurity.

You would have thought that Alpha was the sun and the birds were the nine planets. They simply rotated around him. Even the other TPF participants did not attract any attention.

Everyone wanted to talk to the one and only Alpha (should I reveal that he is actually Alphone? Maybe this can erode some of his popularity with the birds?).

They wanted to take pictures with him, have him sign their autographs, etc some even wanted him to kiss them!! The only way I managed to get the attention of the birds, was by joining them to take pictures with Alpha! Imagine!

Ends