Grieving; How to cope with work
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
Allow yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment.Net photo.

Every person has their down moments after losing their beloved ones, where feelings of intense and very difficult emotions begin to attack ranging from despair to shock, numbness, profound sadness and emptiness, including other natural responses to loss, the term known as grief.

Grief is the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone is taken away by death and this feeling can become overwhelming, where one is likely to experience all kinds of difficulties, including meeting their duties at work

According to Verywellmind, returning to work will help distract you from your painful thoughts and feelings for several hours but you should expect that your grief will tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it and trigger sadness and even tears in the workplace, despite your best efforts.

The magazine explains that grief is difficult, if not impossible, to escape for long because the littlest thing can trigger thoughts/reminders, such as the lingering aroma of a coworker’s perfume or cologne in a hallway or stairwell; a colleague who happens to mention a movie or song that your loved one enjoyed; suddenly noticing that someone wears the same hairstyle or a similar outfit; the time on a clock indicating lunchtime, the end of the workday, the start of the weekend.

Since you cannot possibly anticipate everything that might trigger your grief once you return to work, the magazine advises that one should plan how to handle the moments when your loss-response will interfere with how you want to act because allowing yourself to feel sad and even cry is perfectly normal and natural when you’re grieving, so instead of fighting it, you should plan for it.

Robert Gituma, Marketing and PR Professional, death is inevitable and there are many reasons why people die, however we can categorize them in different ways;

- Accidental

- Death by natural causes

- Death caused by others (i.e murder, manslaughter)

- Suicide

"When death occurs no matter in which way, the people left behind are the most devastated by it. The greatest impact comes from death is sudden or unexpected. The impact death has on different people will also be determined with the kind of relationship the departed had with the living” Gituma says

He further says that grieving may be harder and more serious when the departed was the sole breadwinner and when they are gone, the family left behind will have to adapt to the challenges that life will bring to them

He explains, this means that their source of income may be negatively impacted and they would be required to take on their responsibilities as life has to go one, Gituma says adding that,

Before that could happen, the family members or the people left behind will be advised to give themselves time to adapt, accept their feelings and know that grieving is a process and cannot be rushed.

"Working while grieving, individuals are advised to talk to others and not curl themselves in a room plus spend time with friends and family but most importantly, to join a support group that will assist them move through this process” Gituma concludes.

Fiacre Ndayambaje, a legal adviser at a local bank says that, life must go on at the end of the day and one must keep their source of income.

"People should seek help and advice from their trusted colleagues and upgrade their thinking capacity beyond the normal thinking, in order to cope with work and life” Ndayambaje says.

He adds that reflecting on what the deceased one did and how it impacted the society and use that for self-reflection and strive hard actually to make them proud can help. People should remember that the world still needs them.

Don’t let anyone tell you how you feel. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to move on or get over it, Josiane Mugabekazi, an educator says.

She adds that let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment but importantly, look after your physical health.

"When you feel healthy physically, you’ll be better able to cope emotionally, as the mind and body are connected to combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep and this will help you cope with work. Eat healthy and don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially” Mugabekazi concluded

Employers are asked to temporarily allow such an employee to work from home and come in later or leave earlier for a while or allow them to exit the workplace for a few minutes if they feel overwhelmed by their loss.