we all desire some kind of approval from the people around us and there is no harm in that, but it does become harmful when a person shifts all their focus on being liked. They will do anything, even immoral just to be liked, which can end up ruining a lot of things.

Likeability can be out of control when in the workplace you want to be liked by your boss, employees, or other staff. Being kind is one thing but doing things that disservice you to appease someone else, is when likeability becomes out of control.

What happens when trapped in damaging likeability?

Obviously, being likable is important in the workplace because it brings a lot of benefits that is if you are likable because you are kind and considerate to others without forgetting about yourself or even doing the most to be liked.

Divine Ingabire, a cashier, says that being likable is really important because no one wants to be hated by everyone but likeability can negatively impact a person when it goes too far.

"People sink into likeability easily especially, when at work because they want to be everybody’s buddy, for example, when trapped, in likeability a person will do too much, like always bringing gossip so that people can be interested in them and always want to connect with them. But that is a wrong way to connect with people and to be liked because the person will always be focused on what gossip to tell and forget that there is work to do, which will affect their productivity,” she says.

Herve Mugisha, a software engineer, adds that when a person is very much focused on being liked a lot they tend to become fake.

"They give out fake compliments to give the other person the idea that they are good people, it is really dangerous because when you want to be liked so much you end up doing what others want and ignore what you really think about those wants,” he says.

Sinking into likeability also affects work, because when a person is more focused on the approval of everyone and being liked by everyone, they do constant favors for others while they fall behind on their own work.

How to manage damaging likeability

Celine Igihozo, a bank teller, says that people can’t control being liked by others but rather can influence what they think of them.

"You can’t always make people like or even control their feelings, so when you feel your focus is shifting to being liked by everyone, remember that the influence is what counts than being liked. Think about when you fake everything to be liked, what people will think of you when they find out, and also think about the influence you are to bring in the workplace if you use the wrong tactics to be liked. You can manage that damaging likeability and practice good likeability,” she says.

Angelo Munyaneza, a student, says that if you want to be liked at work and in the right way you need to remind yourself that you can still be liked without putting yourself behind.

"You don’t really need to do constant favors for others and forget about yourself to be liked, it is okay to tell a person that you have a lot of work and that you can’t help them and the person will still like you, it all comes from who you are as a person, being humble and kind and also having a good connection with others that will make you likable, not doing wrong things to be liked,” he says.

According to an article by Caileen Kehayas Holden on Career Contessa, a Career Advice and Job Search Site for Women, "If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly because you are going to be so concerned about offending, and that’s going to ruin your story, so forget about likability.”

The idea is this. When a preoccupation with likeability butts heads with your ideas, your goals, or your vision, it’s simply not worth it. In recognising these crucial moments, you must do away with likeability.