I’m sure many of you are now familiar with the ‘he/she is a 10 but’ challenge on TikTok. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I can already guess which year you were born. But anyway, because I want you to understand, I will explain. This is a new trend that has taken over the internet, where people rate an imaginary partner based on specific traits—they could be physical or personality traits.
In this article, we will refer to our imaginary partner as a he (boy or man), because the writer prefers that. Hopefully, no one will be offended as this is only meant to be fun and informative. Our 10 man is defined as handsome, tall, dark, or whatever you go by to say that someone is physically attractive. PS, don’t worry about his physical appearance, say he is perfect when it comes to that. Your 10 can also be a rich man, whatever you want. But red flags are for toxic personality traits. Below, red flags are going to be introduced by ‘but’. For example, he is a 10 but he smokes. Then do a mental note if the fact that he smokes would bring him down to a two or keep him at eight. Basically rate it according to your preference. If the rate is below five, it means it’s a major turn off, whilst if it’s above five, it means it’s tolerable or not a problem at all if he remains a 10. Remember to be brutally honest with yourself and enjoy a fun way to discover your state more. Let’s go!
He is a 10 but he is overly controlling
He tries to control your movements, decisions, beliefs, friends, etc. Even his advice sounds like an order, and you have to abide like a little kid who doesn’t know what she wants for her own life. You have to report to him everything you do, and almost ask for permission before you do anything. Cringe! That’s a zero for me.
He is a 10 but he always brings you down (emotionally)
Remember when we talked about ‘toxic behaviours we keep tolerating’? Gaslighting, humiliation, guilt shaming, threats, blame shifting, bullying, etc. See, now you have low self-esteem. Truth be told, these are not love languages. Sorry for those who stay in toxic relationships with the ‘it be like that’ kind of mentality. It’s a negative 10 for me, not you?
He is a 10 but he is physically aggressive (abusive)
We are not even talking about this. It’s a NO NO. If you just noticed his violence towards others before you’re both feet deep in it, then run sis! If you are seven-children, 15-years-anniversary deep, it’s still not enough reason to sit still as you await your death. End of discussion, I am not even rating this.
He is a 10 but he abuses substance
Substance abuse is a clear red flag. Now, if you talk about addiction that’s even a more serious problem. Get them help if need be, but if you can’t, then save yourself. Sound like a bad person? Well, you are no better once dragged in it too. Firm zero this one.
He is a 10 but very possessive
No, he is not being protective. Face it sis, he is possessive. It is natural to feel kind of jealous when your person is spending a lot of time with another girl. But, it becomes problematic when it not only clouds his judgment but also he doesn’t even trust you. That could be a four? Just because it’s flattering when your person is a little bit jealous. Emphasis on ‘a little bit’, thanks.
Bonus: He is a 10 but all his friends are shady! When you are around, they will all be friendly and throw comments like "what did you do to our boy? You completely changed him, we have never seen him like this.” Lol, you’re still there? Give them peace and go.