US-based artiste Magaly Pearl talks child abuse, trauma and recovery
Wednesday, June 08, 2022

Magaly Pearl’s woes started when she lost her parents at a very young age. When she was only two years old, her dad was killed, and then her mother died when she was four years old.

"That alone was very traumatic, when you know you will never see either of your parents again,” she says.

As a child still mourning the death of her parents, domestic violence was the order of the day back at home. One of her caregivers, an alcoholic, constantly physically abused her.

As if life wasn’t bad enough, as a teenager, she was also molested by someone she had always taken as ‘family’, someone she had so much respect for and trust in.

Magaly Pearl switched from secular to gosepl music in 2020.  All photos/Net

"It was such a shock, to the point that I ended up trusting no man, and even when in a relationship, there was a point where I always felt like I would get hurt, or disappointed,” she recalls.

The road to recovery

Born, Magaly Ingabire, the US-based Rwandan artiste started life there, and has recently been making music as Magaly Pearl, her stage name. She got recognition in the industry quite early in her career, and collaborated with some of Nigeria’s hit-makers like Ice Prince in a song dubbed "The One”.

The singer worked with renowned Nigerian music video director Patric Elis in a song dubbed "Hold Me”. The director works with artistes like Wizkid, Mr Flavour and Tekno Miles.

Ingabire, who also happens to have expertise in skin care, says that even though good things are happening in life, she was ‘always hurt deeply inside’. "There was that little girl in me who was hurting and crying out because of the things she experienced during childhood,” she says. 

"Trauma influences you to be someone that you were never meant to be,” she says adding that people are a product of what they went through, what they learnt from their parents or caregivers at a young age, and the environment around them as teenagers or adults.

"We have seen leaders who have abused their power, we have seen those who want to be successful at the expense of someone else. That comes from survival, where you begin to think ‘nobody cares about me, so I’m going to make sure I’ve got me,” the artist says.

"I used to always be like, ‘if I see the person who killed my dad, I may hurt them as well’, it always made me feel better,” Ingabire says. That was the voice of the girl who was hurt, she says, but when she started the journey to healing, she later realised that the person who hurt her by killing her father is not the enemy, the enemy is the spirit that drives someone to kill another person.

After grasping that certain things in her life were not good and needed to change, Ingabire decided to disconnect herself from the past and turn to Christ. 

"Until you accept and come to terms with what happened to you, you cannot heal,” she says. The singer has several times had suicidal thoughts due to her past, she has done drugs just to overcome depression, but later decided that that ‘way out’ had no future. 

"You can’t change what happened to you but you can change who you are today, you can change to the person you want to be tomorrow and use the past to change the future. I went through my entire childhood and wrote down all the things that hurt me, and allowed myself to grieve and cry,” Ingabire says.

She adds that letting all your emotions out is one way to heal because if you don’t let them out in a safe environment, they will probably burst out in an unsafe place.

She believes that self-assessment, forgiving your younger and adult self, is also a way to overcome trauma and depression. "Forgiveness helps you to grow,” she says.

Ingabire says finding the right person to speak to, like a therapist, can make the journey to healing better. As for her, she found solace in a compassionate aunt, and talks to her about everything. 

The singer says she decided to be responsible for her own life, and even found a support group who have gone through what she did, and are willing to heal together.  

On this journey, she learnt that it is best to keep negativity at bay, and so she cut off every toxic person in her life and keeps a safe distance. If she doesn’t want to hang out with someone, she will not lie about it, she will communicate and explain why she doesn’t want to hang out.

"Commit to the journey of healing and repent all the bad things you ever did and ask God to teach you to be a better person,” she says. 

In 2020, Ingabire stopped secular music and switched to gospel, with one song in the new sector dubbed ‘Umukunzi’. 

She is now an inspirational/motivational speaker on her different social media accounts, and does so to spread the word of God and share the amazing things He is doing for her.