All too often, we live life by rules handed down to us by society. It’s easier that way, we tend to think. 

We hold onto personalities that collide with who we truly are, make friends we don’t have anything in common with, act or dress a certain way because the idea of being ‘us’ or being different is terrifying. 

Living a life that is authentically you means giving up on what others think and going all-in on the things that make your heart sing, but getting there takes a lot of hard work-inside and out, writes E.B Johnson.

Most people want to be accepted, and so they act and behave in ways others understand in order for them to be approved, says Stella Kayitesi, a childcare worker. 

She says people are scared of being their selves because of fear of rejection. For that reason, they put off living the best way they can, and choose to conform to what society demands. 

Living a term-free life can mean different things to different people. For some, it is being financially independent; for others it’s creating a high-powered career or a family or a small business. Everyone has their own perspective when it comes to living life on their own terms, but there are a few basics to every truly free life, Johnson notes.

"A life lived on your own terms can include travel, volunteering, fitness or any other activity, tangible and intangible, real and imagined. When you’re living your life on your own terms, you get inspired to do more, be more. Things come easy and you do them well, because you’re living a life that’s aligned with your authentic self…the most beautiful kind of life there is,” she notes.

Why is this important?

Robert Mihigo says that this is one of the hardest yet most fulfilling things one can ever do.

"We all dream about this kind of life, but only a few can manage to live it. You need to be that ‘rebellious’ for you not to be swept away by what everyone else is doing,” he says.

The advantages that come with being authentic are many, however, "Living life on your own terms means that you have a set purpose and values that drive you. This also means going through life with a strategy and keeping in touch with what truly matters to you as a person,” he adds.

Kayitesi agrees with Mihigo’s sentiments noting that, if only all of us could be bold enough to live the way we want, misery may somewhat be dealt with.

"We can be more fulfilled, and I think this can be our greatest success.”

Johnson highlights how it’s easy to get swept up in the endless parades of wants and desires that are being directed at us at all times from the world (and our loved ones) around us. The problem with losing who you are in other people, though, is that they aren’t there with you when it comes to the final number.

You are the only one who crosses that final finish line with yourself and it is only your regrets and wishes you have to contend with at the final curtain call.

dmbabazi@newtimesrwanda.com