For  many first time mothers, giving birth every so often comes with the excitement of how joyful they are to receive their new born baby. For some, however, the excitement goes with a serious condition called tokophobia; a neurotic dread of childbirth, which sometimes affects the decision of a mother on how to give birth to her baby.

Tokophobia is among the key factors that affects the process of labour, as it is associated with psychological response and the condition has made some women adopt a C-section just to ease it and quit the pain associated with natural birth or choose to adopt a child to avoid pregnancy and childbirth.

It is classified into two forms: primary, which happens in women who have not had a baby before and secondary, for a woman who has previously had a baby. We shall however, be focusing on the primary forms since it is the scariest.

According to Dr Innocent Ndebeyaho, a gynecologist/ general practitioner at La Croix du Sud hospital, fear makes the uterine muscles to tense up which causes pain, discomfort and increased length of labor. The baby may also come out unhealthy.

He adds that the fear of birth goes further than just the birth itself and can negatively influence women's postpartum wellbeing, child development.

Hearing many horror stories from people instead of positive birth stories makes the new mothers feel like they can’t cope with the pain during labour yet every woman is unique and different. That is why these stories have no basic truth.

"It is just a myth of life. When you expect too much, you get less and when you expect less, you get too much. I gave birth to my baby thinking there is still more to happen because I expected a lot of pain and indescribable experience. The stories I had heard from mothers and their experience made me dreadful about labour. Says Denyse Bahavu, a mother at Kimironko

Bahavu adds that the experience is not always the same; you experience it until it is done.  Never be scared, trust in yourself and follow your doctor’s advice .

Ladouce Isimbi,a mother of three says "You will not remember the pain, instead you will only remember the person you have created. A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty and there is no great joy a woman can ever endorse, after holding your new born baby, later you realise the pain can never match the joy”

"What I can share is this quote by St Johns that says " a miracle is the only way to describe motherhood and giving birth. It is unbelievable how God has made us women and babies to endure and be able to do so much. A miracle, indeed. Such an incredible blessing” says Florence Muhoza, a new mother

Dr Ndebeyaho says "When a woman is eligible to deliver naturally, we normally have a session with them to be prepared mentally. Some mothers suggest c-section but it is no always advisable because once it is carried, you have chances of it happening  again and again every time you give birth”

He adds that most women fear but they reach at the time of giving birth when they are mentally ready.

Experts also say it is normal to have childbirth fear and labour, however, talking to your midwife early in your pregnancy is preferred as it enables support pathways to be initiated earlier and talking early can help reduce these fears and anxiety around birth. The longer that these feelings of fear are ignored, the more anxiety may grow and become worse.  

Having a midwife, obstetrician or doctor that you trust throughout the pregnancy also helps.

Discuss your birth options and pain relief options early with your midwife or doctor and start thinking about how you want to give birth and write a birth plan.

Visit the maternity ward and talk to some of the nurses and midwives and do extra education about childbirth midwifery support

Try to focus on the future, like how it would feel to meet your baby rather than focusing on the labour and birth

Simply knowing that you are not alone and that other women share this fear can be comforting and it is okay to ask women to stop if they are telling you about their birth experience or someone else’s birth experience and it is not helpful to you.

Do yoga or meditation techniques that you think are helping you. Make sure they are safe for you and the baby. Trust me, you have got this mama 

Research shows that it’s hard to say how many women are affected by tokophobia because women with this condition are mostly identified when they seek professional help.