Everyone at some point needs help, it's normal. However, sometimes we shun asking for it for fear of judgment, disappointment, or just to prove that we are strong enough to have it all together.
I personally used to fear asking for help as I detested coming off as vulnerable. But with time, I have observed that there are people willing to support, if you just open up about your need. Good people still exist.
You may be astonished that some people may not have a particular solution that you need, but may refer you to a person that can actually assist.
A few steps can help you out while pondering on who and how to ask for help;
Be polite
Whether someone is so close to you, for example, a partner, friend, or relative, show politeness while requesting for any assistance. One shouldn’t assume that it is a must to be offered help. The tone and approach you use matter.
We ought to learn to respect people’s decisions, if someone isn’t in a position to help, appreciate them, they have their reasons and that shouldn’t blow your friendship with them. Sorry but move on.
Who knows, perhaps they may help next time. I have seen people holding grudges because they expected assistance, but didn’t get it. Others actually revenge. Life is too short to play such games.
Know who to ask
The common problem I have experienced is thinking that the people close to me are the ones that I should approach first in case of an emergency, but it mustn’t be the case. Sometimes we need to talk to people that are not even close to us as long as they have the services we need.
Take an example, if you’re undergoing stress, it’s easy to open up to a friend, who may provide a listening ear but may not know how to help, either because they haven’t been in your situation before or they’re not experts. Then that means you need a counsellor.
Well, if it’s a job opportunity or connection, then search for someone in your domain or a person with connections. You may be amazed at how a stranger can save you. Knowing who can help you before asking saves you time and disappointment.
Be specific, some details won’t hurt
If you are asking for financial help, it could be a loan. Be direct with how much you need, don’t just go with ‘any amount you can suffice.’ This seems sketchy and may not show the urgency for which you need help. It’s okay to offer someone some details, not so much, but at least explain to them so that they know how to help. For instance, let someone know exactly what you want, if it's money, how much, and when exactly you need it, if possible specify what it is needed for.
Some people may be able to help if given enough time. If they expect to receive money from somewhere, let’s say in a weeks’ time and your deadline is in two weeks’ time, then you have their help.
Give feedback
People actually love to know that their support was helpful. It’s not a must, but it is a kind gesture to inform the person that helped you, if their help resulted in success. Whether it is an exam that someone discussed for you and you excelled, a connection that turned to a job opportunity, or marriage counselling that stopped your divorce process and instead fixed your relationship, share the outcome.
Offer help to others
Just like the common proverb "One good turn deserves another,” If you’re the kind of person that usually stretches a helping hand to others, it’s easy for people to pay back when you’re in need.