It shouldn’t be weird if you wanted to dance joyfully with your spouse on your wedding day, right? It’s your day and you can choose to celebrate the way you want. Well this is not always the case, you know why, because guests might not always approve.
People present at your wedding might actually have different opinions on that, with comments such as ‘is this how they are going to act in their home?’ or, ‘what kind of a wife/ husband will he make?’
Confusing. But that’s the society we live in. Should this be the case however?
Weekender’s Ines Rutayisire Umurerwa asked a variety of people to share their views on this.
Masamba Intore, Traditional music icon
In Rwanda, a wedding has different parts, but I will talk about the introduction and the reception part. The introduction part is where we introduce the bride to the groom, it is a traditional wedding and done the Rwandan way, that is why I love it. This day ideally is the bride’s day; she is the one to propose what to do, how the decorations will be, what her bridesmaids will wear and what group will dance for her. She is the queen on that day and she contributes to the preparations.
The reception is for the groom because during ancient times, after the introduction ceremony, the bride was taken to the groom’s place which was going to be their home; the ceremony would be like accompanying her to her new home. Nowadays this ceremony has been modernised and is becoming more like the western culture, even the music has changed to the modern one. During this ceremony, many couples make some dance moves which I consider inappropriate. If they want to express themselves and show off their new moves, I recommend for them to wait at least for the ‘after party’ where they can dance around their friends and people of their age.
Wivine Isimbi, Mother and wife
A wedding is a celebration that mostly happens once. A person therefore has to enjoy it to the fullest. Besides, guests need to understand that if it wasn’t for the bride and groom, they wouldn’t be there. People should dance in whatever way they want, though sometimes we find ourselves stuck in culture-that no Rwandan bride should dance, that you’re exposing yourself to everyone. Honestly, your wedding is a very special day for you and your groom, and no one else is going to make it feel special except you as a couple.
Frank Ntarindwa, Student in mass media and communication
A wedding day is a day to celebrate the bride and groom. Much as this is true, family members are showing their support through their presence, it’s therefore appropriate to show them respect. If you want to express yourselves and let go because it is your day, remember there are things that are not to be done in public. If you want to ‘twerk’ or do other things that you know may come off as inappropriate, it is better to wait for the guests to go home first and then you can dance the way you want with your friends or at home alone. Otherwise I would recommend you avoid being judged and shunned by people you invited.
Sheilla Uwamahoro, Student at Mount Kenya University
On my side, a wedding is a special day for the couples but also invitees because you chose to invite them. If there is something you wish to do on that day but will be viewed as unfitting in front of your parents and other invitees, I would advise you to keep it to yourself for the right time. Yes, that is your day but also, it is a day to show the people present that you have been raised well, and it is a day to make your parents proud by giving them the respect they deserve, and not disappointing them.
Gislaine Mugwaneza, Journalist and student
It is your day but again, it is a day to pay respect to your parents and yourself. You can have fun but also think about what is culturally appropriate because we are in a country with values, if you start doing things that parade you in the wrong way, it will send off the wrong narration to the people present. If you want to have fun, it is okay; you can make the wedding fun but don’t go over the edge. It is best to act accordingly.
Bertrand Andy Rwampungu, Student
I think a wedding day is firstly the day you both legally confess to living together in God’s presence till death separates you, and the rest is a celebration between you, your families, and friends. In my opinion, I think this festive or celebrating part should not be self-directing, rather make it inclusive because you invited people to come to celebrate that new step you are taking in life. If there are other things you would want to do on that day, but are considered intimate with others, it is best to do it in your home and not from where everyone who knows and respects you, will see you.