Peer pressure can have a powerful effect on behaviour, but it isn’t always a bad thing. Some people actually wonder if it’s real, or if it is just a lame excuse.
"As a parent, I think peer pressure is not an excuse for mistakes, be it our children or even grown-ups, rather, it shapes us into who we are, as the saying goes ‘tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are’,” says Rebecca Nibagwire, a mother of six.
Nibagwire says that some people are of the view that it’s hard for one person to change a multitude of people, so instead, they change just one person. "We have seen our children change habits all of a sudden, only to find out that they are trying to be like others.
"The friends may not even ask one to change, but the pressure to fit in, and be like them, indirectly pushes one, and that’s why parents should monitor the kind of friends their children hang out with,” says Nibagwire.
Olivier Nsanzabega, a student at Carnegie Mellon University Africa, says that most people are easily influenced in a negative way. "I don’t know if it is nature. It could be hard to get saved just by hanging out with a Born Again Christian, but easy to start addictive habits like smoking and drinking when hanging out with the people that do so.
"It is important and good to mind who we spend most of our time with for our own good.”
"Peer pressure influence is real and in our posse there is always a leader, and he gets to approve the decisions, it happens in friendships, we depend on each other’s decisions,” says Isaac Sekabera, a youth advocate.
Sekabera thinks that peer pressure is evidence of the depth of low self-esteem and vulnerability, which is why hanging out with the ‘right’ people is important.
In his article, Is Peer Pressure Real or Just an Excuse?, Par Donahue writes, "We re-inforce it (peer pressure) every time we use the term. ‘Kids are under so much pressure today, I don’t know how they can possibly resist.’ This means, to a teen, that he is not strong enough to resist so why not just give in to temptation. Be clear, that I am not just denying peer pressure; I have asked many adults, including myself, and many, many kids what things they did, because of peer pressure, that they knew were wrong, and they really did not want to do them? I’m still waiting for the first answer!
"On the other hand, positive peer pressure does exist. A good fiend will get you to do things that you know you should do, but don’t really want to put forth the effort. For example homework, exercising, volunteering in school, church, or community. The common element is knowledge of what you should and should not do.”