Beauty shaming: Pretty is more than skin deep
Thursday, September 02, 2021
Many argue that external attractiveness has no relation to goodness or essential quality. Photo/Net

Beauty has always had this bad rap of being shallow and vain. Women (and men at times) who are gorgeous and attractive are often shamed for being self-absorbed.

Flavia Tumusiime, a media personality, once shared that women tend to tone down their looks for fear of being judged as shallow, admitting that she used to carry the same narrative. 

"A girl who thinks about the dress, the lipstick; I used to think their genius level is on the floor and I apologise for having even thought that.  But I was conditioned that way over time because I was told a girl who looks nice was assumed to be dumb. I took the narrative and went with it,” she says in one of her vlogs.

However, she points out how she has come across positive narratives that are changing this mind-set. "The power of being a woman is that we can do so much. We can wear our stripes so well.” 

It’s okay to look beautiful. Yes, true beauty starts from within; numerous quotes have put enough emphasis on that. But it also matters how you wear yourself—on the outside.

Scott Barnes writes that looking good leads to feeling good, feeling good leads to empowerment. "When you put your best face forward, it gives you the opportunity to really accelerate in life. Feeling good commands respect. And that’s really empowering.”

He notes that no matter who you are, no matter what your life state is, you always have the ability to make yourself feel better. Don’t give up and fall into self-loathing; if you look your best, you feel your best. You will find that doors open for you, and that people want to be around you. There’s power in that, no matter who you are.

Ketia Ishimwe, a communications officer, agrees with this, saying that contrary to the popular belief, craving for beauty is not as vain as most people imply it to be.

She says being beautiful is something we should be proud of and strive for. "It’s important to care about personal appearance, how we present ourselves forms a big part of our identity.

"As women, we are conditioned to have these beliefs but it’s upon us to write our stories, to carry ourselves in ways that mostly matter to us. And this includes choosing to look our best even when society tells us otherwise,” she says.

Alexia Batamuriza, a social media user, doesn’t agree that beauty is vanity. She is, however, quick to add that it’s the people who take it to the extreme that at times paint the whole idea with narcissism.

She says she has witnessed the extremes people can go to, to look beautiful for social media. And in her view, apart from being vain, it’s unhealthy too.

"Some people allow their looks to be the centre of their lives. I think this is when looks get shallow. It’s not wise to neglect our appearance; in fact I think it is healthy to embrace and appreciate our looks more, but we can balance it with other areas in life.”

Simon Kalisa, a marketing officer encourages people to do what makes them happy. He is also against standards that force others to conform to their expectation, that’s why he believes that when it comes to beauty, assuredly it lies in the hands of the beholder. 

Barnes encourages using beauty to bolster yourself and the people around you, not just for vanity. Use beauty to create positive change.

Beauty is not necessarily frivolous; it’s empowering, and improves your state of mind. If you look at yourself and feel better, that’s power. There’s a direct correlation between inner beauty and outer beauty – the way you view yourself is the way others view you, too.