In the world today, technology has become a part of our daily lives, for communication, networking, entertainment, education, to mention a few. The adoption of technology has changed the way we connect with others in society, and dating is no exception. Internet dating sites are what can be described as the ‘Cupid of the Web’.
Whereas many people are likely to prefer the traditional way of dating, that is, meeting someone and asking them out in person, dating sites are rapidly gaining popularity, used by many to meet potential partners from anywhere in the world.
28-year-old Desire Ishimwe believes that dating sites are helpful to many. "There’s no evidence that people who meet online are worse off. Online dating has real benefits for people who have a hard time finding partners in their day-to-day lives. To them, having a more diverse selection of potential partners online is a big advantage,” Ishimwe says.
Some say that these sites, which are systems that enable people to find and introduce themselves to potential connections over the internet, usually to develop a romantic relationship, make it easy for anyone looking for something specific in a partner, as profiles usually include one’s character, preferences, and et cetera.
Experts say that dating sites are surprisingly growing in ways many would not expect, in fact, by several measures, online dating has proved even more useful to both individuals and society than the traditional avenues it has replaced.
Umwiza (not real name), a Rwandan pursuing her university studies in China, says that for two years, she has tried online dating. Even though she has encountered some bad experiences, she notes that there have also been good ones.
"Many hide their bad side on dating sites, but it’s normal even when it comes to dating someone in person. To me, any kind of dating requires caution, whether online or not,” she says.
Umwiza warns that when you are new to these sites, you must be extra careful, as some profiles contain false information that could lead you to a strange person.
"Always make sure your profile attracts the type of person you want to build a relationship with, and be who you are as this will help you find the one for you,” she adds.
Umwiza explains how the sites work, "Dating sites allow users to become ‘members’ by creating a profile and uploading personal information, including age, gender, location, sexual orientation, and the user can add pictures too. The sites allow members to limit their interactions to the online space, or they can arrange a date to meet in person, it is advised not to put all your personal information, you can share that information after you’ve and interacted on a wider scale with someone you have a mutual connection with.
According to Ernest Habimana, a father of three and Nyarugenge resident, it is okay to find ‘the one’ wherever you want to find him or her, but when it comes to online dating, some might lie about their age or fake the pictures on their profile.
"I think a big number of people who use these sites are those who lost their chance to get married. The ones 40 and over, I doubt you can find ‘the one’ online,” Habimana says.
How to find your match on dating sites
According to Uwamwiza, contrary to popular belief, it is not that hard to find ‘the one’ on dating sites.
"When I had just started using these sites, it was confusing and I rarely met my type. But my friends kept pushing me. I wasn’t as familiar with the sites as they were. After some time I found one even though it didn’t work out. It requires being selective and confident. It is very important to have regular conversations and video calls before you meet the person.
"It is important to first know well the kind of person you want, then when you find one, get to know him/her, ask questions—include tricky ones—visit their social media pages and video call. This will help you get to know each other and is the key to finding your match,” she says.
Uwamwiza adds that online dating sites have become an integral part of the modern dating game, and it’s one of the most effective and efficient ways to meet someone great.
27-year-old Daniel Mugisha, a businessman in Huye District, doesn’t agree with dating sites and modern romance. In his view, many people who meet on these sites don’t have many friends in common, and the way he sees it, the sites connect total strangers to become partners who don’t really know each other.
"I find it strange. You are dating a total stranger. Will that relationship survive? It is something that needs a bit of mindfulness as it is one-sided dating,” he says.
Grace Gasana, a sociology student at the University of Rwanda, doesn’t agree with Mugisha.
"I don’t see any negative repercussions for people who find partners online. You’ll find that these people are more likely to stay together. Once you’re in a relationship with somebody, it doesn’t matter how you met that person,” she says.
Like other debates, the online vs traditional discussion will go on, with many going by the notion that dating has changed from a "romantic unexpected meeting” to a "virtual shopping spree”.