Louise and Annette have been friends for about seven years, they decided to share an apartment in Kiyovu a year back. At first, it was exciting as they got to see each other every day. They were both at their best behaviour at first, till finances started ruining their friendship. Annette, Louise said, started giving excuses when it was time to pay the rent—it was either she hadn’t been paid, or she had a loan to settle, among other excuses. The house goes for Rwf 200,000 and each was meant to pay half.
On two occasions, Louise bailed her out, but couldn’t anymore as it seemed like it was turning into a habit. Even when she paid, her money came in late, which meant the landlord would sometimes get sorted past the due date.
Rent aside, the two housemates also agreed to contribute a monthly fee for shopping and other requirements, but the situation became tricky as they clashed over money. Arguments and silent treatment became the order of the day and so they decided to go their separate ways.
With the growing need to cut costs, sharing a house with someone isn’t such a bad idea. However, there is a lot to put into consideration before you decide to co-rent with someone.
Daniel Uwimana, a resident of Kacyiru, says respect was a prerequisite before choosing his two housemates that he currently stays with. He wanted people who respect boundaries, regardless of the level of friendship—not someone who can just enter his bedroom and wear his clothes or use his stuff without permission. For him, that level of maturity is everything.
He adds that respect goes past crossing boundaries to sacrifice; people that don’t only look at what they want but also at the needs of others. For instance, if one has a TV programme to watch, are others willing to let him or her enjoy it until their turn, without making a big deal out of it?
"Honesty isn’t a cheap virtue, I was looking forward to staying with people that owned up to their mistakes and opened up about my character if it wasn’t fulfilling. I wanted to stay with people that put me back on the right track but would not ill-discuss me behind my back,” he says.
He also says that two habits are a turn off for him, untidiness and laziness. A person who isn’t organised and clean is a "no” for him. He wanted someone to share house chores with and make sure everything is neat, not someone that just enjoys finding food ready, but hates cooking.
Martha Mirembe, a resident of Kanombe, moved in with a friend for a period of three years and has found it such a learning experience. To her, some days are good, others are not, but she lets patience prevail.
She notes that she overlooked a few things with her housemate before deciding to move in with her, but they have both created rules that favour them. Being a Christian, she obviously preferred a Christian for a housemate, to be on the same page about belief and faith, and so far, things have worked out well for them in that regard.
However, they have agreed on a few rules, in case they host guests, sleepovers have to be minimised as much as possible, and they have also agreed that no male guests sleep over.
She adds that home is supposed to be a comforting place after a busy day, therefore, it must be peaceful. If they have a fight or misunderstanding, they have to sit and come to an understanding before the day ends.
Mirembe also explains that to keep the home tidy and fun, they hired a house-help who comes to clean up and do laundry every weekend. So, there are no fights about any house mess.
She adds that they discuss financial difficulties once in a while, and revise their shopping list to cut off what is not needed urgently.
"Proper communication has kept us moving. We talk about every single thing, for example, what to cook, fun things to do, and simple things. We also check up on each other throughout the day to know how each of us is. This is because we are now family. In case one of us is sick, it’s the other’s responsibility to provide the care needed. No one wants to stay with someone that doesn’t care about the other’s health,” she says.