Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a single mother of one. I recently met a man who I like very much and he likes me too. He makes me very happy and I truly enjoy his company. We have also been sexually active but we have been using condoms.

Recently he told me that it is time to consummate our relationship without the use of protection. I have resisted because I don’t trust his health since he is always sickly.

I have asked him a number of times that we go for HIV tests which he readily accepts but when the day for the tests reaches, he comes up with all sorts of excuses. What are the chances of me getting infected if at all he is sick as I suspect?
Lysette.

Dear Lysette,

I am filled with grief and unhappiness that so many people have contracted HIV through carelessness or ignorance. I hope and pray that we can all learn to have mutual respect in love... then HIV will not continue to be spread by high-risk behavior, and this devastation will perish on its own.

The concept of safe sex or safer sex with a condom is misleading. Would you knowingly transmit a deadly disease to someone you love?

Can it be wise to trust in the use of a condom during sex with someone you say you love, or anyone at all, when condoms have been known to have a failure rate of 10% to 15%?

Denial is not a shield, nor is ignorance a sanctuary. These universal laws are put here for our benefit, not for us to try to figure out ways to beat them, when we always end up being the losers.

Obviously it is Russian roulette to get involved in this high-risk behavior. I am sorry to put it this way -- but watching young people die of AIDS day in day out due to these silly mistakes has hardened my heart -no more candy coating.

It’s a no-no to have a relationship with someone you think is already infected. True love is filled with itself and it is not capable of defeating its own purpose.

In other words if this man claims to be in love with you, then he should do his best not to infect you intentionally and put you or anyone else’s health for that matter in harm’s way.

There will always be those difficult choices that must be made. We must educate ourselves so that we can protect our loved ones and ourselves; in this case if you protect yourself –you are protecting the future of your child. I advise you to go for medical check up before it’s too late.

Ends