If resolutions were wishes
Thursday, January 14, 2021

These would be my top 5 for 2021.

1. A return to the ‘Old Normal’ more than anything. We’ve sort of gotten used to the new order of things - face masks, social distancing and all, but I really just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Before any mention of the ‘C’ word left us jittery, as it could mean anything from being a Coronavirus carrier to contracting Covid-19 to contact tracing and the dreaded curfews! Yeah, someone please take us back to 2019 or even 2018!

2. You know it’s January when joggers ‘run’ every pavement and sidewalk, more so now with gyms and fitness facilities closed. Getting fit or in shape is almost everybody’s goal and that’s all good, but maybe some of these people should be as enthusiastic about personal hygiene because the funk is real! Someone runs past you and you literally have to stop and catch your breath despite not being the one exercising! I’ve thought about snagging the opportunity to maybe sell some deodorant or something but then I thought, if someone is not in the habit of wearing deodorant already, chances are they won’t buy it anyway.

3. Less greed, more compassion. My net worth is not worth mentioning but Elon Musk’s is. You ready? $185 billion and counting! Not saying the world’s richest person is greedy, but if he gave even half of it away, he’d still have more money than many countries’ entire GDP! Rich folks must think I have a vendetta against them. I don’t. Okay, maybe just a little but I’d really just like to see a more equitable world and all this corporate greed bothers me. Think job losses were bad last year? Brace yourselves for even more cuts this year. The guys at the top and yes, it’s usually men, continue to pocket fat pay checks and bonuses as they just did while lower ranking staff are laid off on the pretext of the company not having enough resources. I like what Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife, MacKenzie Scott, is doing with her billions but first, let’s gripe about how unfair it is that despite her individual accomplishments and contribution to her husband’s success, she’ll probably always be referenced as his ex-wife. Like it’s a badge of honour and I’m not saying that it’s not. You guys know what I mean. I’m not really surprised that she’s been donating her billions to food banks and other charities and I’m going to go right ahead and make a sweeping statement in case anyone missed the point. Women are nurturers before anything and that’s why many of us worry about food and shelter more than anything. I wish more billionaires and even millionaires were as charitable because nobody really needs that much money. And we keep saying that this pandemic has revealed what’s really important — family, community and humanity, so why do we still have people spending more at auctions on frivolous memorabilia and others committing thousands of dollars to fickle projects like ‘Space Tourism’ when many frontline workers still don’t have adequate protective equipment?

4. Free Wi-Fi because streaming is life, don’t you agree? Plus tax breaks for everybody and not just investors and business people, free housing, public transport, Covid-19 home test kits and vaccines, masks, sanitiser... Hey, the 99 per cent can dream!

5. Last but certainly not least, can we please say ‘Twenty-Twenty-One’ and not ‘Two-Thousand-and-Twenty-One?’ as some people are? Sound it out and tell me it’s not annoying as heck! We’re not in maths class and even they are all about rounding off! It’s too long and annoying like I said, and we’re trying to make this year less stressful for everybody, aren’t we?