16 days of activism against violence are on; I remember writing about it last year and a few weeks back I was trying to take stock of what has been achieved so far. It’s been disastrous, especially with the Covid-19 pandemic which has not helped the situation at all. There are women who at the height of the lockdown had to stay home with the same people that have continuously violated them. There were cases where households lost their income and women being women had to engage the high gear to ensure the family does not go hungry. I remember seeing a story of a teacher in Uganda who had resorted to roasting maize by the roadside to make ends meet. Another woman whose story was highlighted boiled stones as a way of consoling her children that there was food going to be served. 

Some of the above scenarios may not be talked about as much as they should because nobody was ‘beaten’ in the making of that story. We highlight violence only when it’s sexual or physical and forget that emotional, psychological violence is just as bad if not worse. Violence comes in different forms and shapes. Intimate partner violence that includes femicide and marital rape, sexual violence, human trafficking which has increased with people going to the Middle East purportedly for work but ending up being sexually exploited, child marriages etc.  

I recently attended a session on elimination of violence against women and one thing was clear, women are crying, they are being violated. Meetings and conferences are being held to discuss women issues but is the reality on the ground an indicator of growth, development and progress, or are we taking few steps forward and many steps backwards?

We live in a society where someone will report a case of assault and they will be asked how they were dressed at the time, what did they do or say to their abuser? Women are constantly being questioned instead of being helped. A guy commented that society questions the abused more than the abuser and that makes it unpleasant to even think of reporting these cases. Majority of women are suffering silently because they don’t know who to go to or who will not judge them. 

When you talk about economic empowerment and the power it has to release women from oppression, you land into another case of women who are empowered and make money or get employed on the basis of being ‘Mrs so and so’; a woman like that will not cry in public and will not easily walk out of her violent home because she is conditioned to believe she is what she is because of her man and the fact that she is married. That could be true, but is it worth it to remain in that situation and bear that identity but be unhappy and battered?

Before Covid pandemic, one in three women and girls experienced physical or sexual violence in their lifetime and most frequently by an intimate partner. The most recent research puts that figure at two out of three women and girls. As we go through yet another 16 days of activism, may we see real and tangible outcomes.