To pay dowry or not to. That is a question that has been a subject of debate between those who want everything culture to be left intact and the others who prefer to call themselves progressive.
The discussion came up again on Wednesday, November 18 as the Legal Aid Forum (LAF) was launching its ‘Comprehensive Legal Analysis of Gender Compliance in Rwandan Laws’.
The analysis, funded by UN Women, aims to identify laws that may discriminate explicitly or implicitly on the basis of gender.
Commenting on discrimination, some participants like Annette Mukiga, a Gender and Development Specialist said that while not everything can be put in the law, some of the country’s cultural norms like paying dowry are discriminatory to both genders especially women.
She explains that in most rural areas, dowry is discriminatory and that some men use it as a weapon to harass and control women.
"It makes some men, especially in rural areas feel like they own a woman because they spent money on her in dowry. To me, putting this in a law would affirm something that is discriminatory but discussions about some of these stereotypical issues should continue,” she said.
The Executive Director of the Youth Association for Human Rights Promotion and Development (AJPRODHO-JIJUKIRWA) Anthony Busingye agreed. He said that while some women are harassed and asked to refund the dowry even after the marriage fails, the men face a different kind of discrimination.
"Women are harassed in their homes because of dowry but for men, if you have no dowry, you face the challenge of not being able to marry. It is discriminatory to both genders but especially to women,” he said.
The UN Women Country Representative, Fatou Lo said that while the idea behind paying dowry is normally supposed to be a beautiful cultural gesture, there is a need to open up discussions about it. The interpretation in practicing it is leading to abuse.
"When a price is attached, then a woman is considered property because you feel you have a right since you paid. Negative social norms must be addressed but of course one of the values of having such sessions is that we can continue to discuss all these issues,” she said.
Lo pointed out that while some of the issues that are progressive can also be difficult since they touch on the core beliefs of the society, the fact that the world today has many young people requires decision makers to continue to think and be ready for new demands, challenges and dynamics.
She said that while there is still work to be done in the areas of gender compliance, the government should be commended on how progressive it is when it comes to adopting laws and its fast pace at reforming them when required.
"There is still a lot of work to do and from this conversation, there is going to be a research agenda to explore more on where else there are gaps in the laws to ensure that ultimately, the Rwandan society is promoting and advancing gender equality and women empowerment,” she said.
Need for implementation
Speaking at the event, the Executive Director of LAF, Andrews Kananga said that while Rwanda has made commendable steps in enacting laws, there were still challenges in implementation.
He blamed this on the failure by most to understand that implementation is a collective responsibility.
He said that all Rwandans must work with the government, civil society and other stakeholders so that the locals are aware of the laws and how to use them to defend themselves.
"For instance, look at the issue of child defilement. The laws are clear but they can only be useful if we teach the children that there are laws that protect them, then we can teach them and their parents how to use them to report cases to seek justice,” he said.
The Executive Secretary of Rwanda Media Commission (RMC), Emmanuel Mugisha advised a comprehensive awareness campaign to educate Rwandans about the laws.
"If implementation is a challenge, what is needed is a comprehensive and strategic plan on how sensitisation of these laws can be disseminated to the masses,” he said.