Mentorship, the necessary water on a long journey
Monday, October 12, 2020

The world took form, and man followed! Sensing any connection? Could there be a reason why the world was created first and then us later on?

Among the many reasons people advance, many will tell you that man was created last for stewardship or management of all the creation.

Those who believe will tell you that In Genesis, God created man and gave Him a task of co-creating with Him/Production. Others will say that man was created to subdue/control the created, others will say partnership in preserving what God created.

Whatever we all call it, let us all agree to use one word to suit us all, let us give this word a name, and let this name be purpose.

All people created, were created for a reason, a purpose to fulfill and a destiny to arrive at after fulfilling that Purpose.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t get to live according to that purpose due to a number of reasons that perhaps we will look at next time. And some of the other group who get to know their purpose, struggle fulfilling it due to a number of reasons that we will be addressing as time and opportunity allow us in the future.

But today, I wish to tackle one of them which is mentorship.

Mentorship is a process of receiving or giving guidance in any specific area/discipline one is pursuing towards achieving that set target or becoming the best version of themselves.

It can be indirect or direct. Indirect in a way that from a distance and through observation, we can learn from those that are doing very well in the areas they are called to  or passionate about, e.g political, faith, business, civil society leaders, and many more.

And direct in a way that we can intentionally have a mentor in our lives to help us live the lives we were created to live and to fulfill the purpose we were created to fulfill or the passions that burn in our hearts.

However much indirect mentorship can be rewarding too, it has some gaps which include that a leader you admire or follow from a distance doesn’t know you and perhaps doesn’t get to have a direct relationship with you from which you can reap greater benefits.

Traditions and religions or beliefs in a way have placed some people above others thus creating superiors and inferiors, seniors and juniors, they have as well created rules and principles that once broken, one becomes guilty and their person is damaged, their dignity gets tainted, sometimes when not consoled or forgiven, low self-esteem grows, their brain gets damaged, mental health issues rise and there rises a very broken person.  (A person that will later on start a family, build relationships, start a company and become a leader of that entity, be it small or big. Now imagine the family, company or entity they will lead).

If it is not by grace that things turn out different, they will likely cause damage to those they will lead and the cycle will go on and on. A case we have seen in many families with absent, abusive, alcoholic fathers/parents, name it. Where there is a father, you can replace it with a leader, husband/wife, friend, etc. to apply to any institution or leadership.

Most of the broken relationships (family, friendship, romantic, etc), poorly led nations, institutions or companies are commonly as a result of all or one of those involved being broken

Before anyone therefore pursues or goes deeper into their calling or relationship, it is important to be humble enough, avail themselves teachable, have a mentor and begin a journey of learning, a journey of facing one’s real person in the mirror, come to terms with them, then work a way out of that.

Most of my life I have been mentored indirectly by those that I respect, by observing them and following them, but direct mentorship is more rewarding-something I am currently loving.  

Having a mentor that checks on you, that listens to you, that celebrates with you, that cries with you, that you listen to, that you obey, to whom you are teachable, with whom you open up, become vulnerable and grow is just incredible.

Mentorship checks you, tells you what you don’t want to hear yet not breaking you, mentorship counsels you, listens to your heart and definitely makes you a better person. It is incredible being mentored.

It keeps you in balance and in check. The rewards are amazing not only to you as an individual but to those around you benefiting from your daily growth and betterment.  

What do you believe in? How is your life like? Who do you confide in? Has pride taken a toll of you that it is costing you almost everything and everyone dear to you?

Be humble, be teachable, become refined and grow into a person better than the one you ever imagined. Have a mentor. Become a mentor!

And if anyone approaches you to mentor them, and you feel led to mentor them, please do, don’t refuse them. It is like refusing to share food with a hungry person that has requested you to feed them a meal. Pathetic, right? (Again, I mean those that feel led to mentor someone, yet they don’t do it)

And if you want to be mentored, just go as a child, don’t go to prove anything-just go expecting to turn out better. A better leader, a better person, a better spouse, a better friend, a better anything that you have your eyes set on.

If you feel like you want to be mentored or mentor someone, please feel free to contact me.

"Nobody easily delivers themselves from an invisible enemy within, except with an invisible or external hand”, ABA

Shalom.

The writer is a social commentator based in Kigali