Early this week someone asked for my opinion on how many people get married for convenience, how many do it hoping to fall in love with a partner that already loves them, how many get married hoping they will be given a comfortable life. Truth be told, people get married for varied reasons and the ones listed above are some of them.

I went out asking married people why they got married. Rosine, my first respondent, said hers started off as a friendship during their school days, afterwards, they got employed at the same organisation. This friendship continued to the extent that wherever Rosine was, Bernard would be in the vicinity.

She got uncomfortable when colleagues would make fun and ask about her ‘fiancé.’ It prompted her to sit him down and suggest they end the friendship in order to let other people into their lives. When she thought she was ready to do this to pave way for both of them to see other people she could not master enough courage.

The gifts and lunches between the two of them continued, she gave in to his goodness and fell in love.

Eventually she married him without dating or courting! Today she confidently says she married him for love. 

Susan, had had numerous heartbreaks and was at the point in life where she vowed to marry anyone in trousers that would even come close to winking at her, she was that desperate. When Jude showed up thinking he would play games with her, she nailed him. It was not love at first sight but eight years on, with two children, they say it started off as a joke but they finally found that thing they had in common that glued them together.  

One of my respondents online had an interesting story; the mother of two got ‘married’ after being invited by her new boyfriend to his house where she found Wi-Fi. Being in her final year of college internet was important and yet she did not have constant and stable supply at her place. Thanks to Wi-Fi she became a wife! I hope the network in that union is never unstable because she might pack her bags.

My search for answers led me to males too; Emma reckons people get married for different reasons, but he believes that love should be on top of that list, then everything else follows. He insists as long as people marry for reasons other than love, then it is not genuine. 

Dominic and Freddy had similar sentiments. They believe many men marry for physical attraction. If he sees a beautiful woman, he starts imagining how beautiful the children will be and is likely to propose. Others get attracted to a woman they consider hardworking enough to take care of their home. The two also think women marry for financial security more than any other attraction. 

Evans says he knows a guy who got married because it was a cold season and he needed an extra blanket.

Ultimately there is no formula to marriage. Some people fall in love before marriage while others ‘reach there’ after marriage. 

By the time I was done chatting with different people we concluded, whatever motivation anyone has to get into a marriage, let it be with their best friend — everything else will work out naturally.