When ‘pastoral’ lanes get mixed up
Friday, April 05, 2019

‘Wow, dear sister Bwana Yesu Asifiwe’

‘Amen asifiwe sana.’ 

‘How are you and our parents?’

‘I am doing great. The parents and the entire family are well. Thanks for asking. How are Martha and Jonathan?’

‘Martha and Jonathan are well. Thanks’

‘Can I ask a pastoral question?’

‘Strictly pastoral…’ I said. Hahahaha, he laughed and said it was pastoral but with a social angle to it.

By this time I had a clue of what he was going to ask about, many of our brothers and sisters in Christ ask that question.

‘Has the Lord brought someone into your life yet? I remember us praying about it a while back.’

‘I knew you were going to ask about that. There is someone but nothing long term has been discussed we are taking each day as it comes.’

That was the surprise conversation I had with my long time spiritual leader this week. We had not talked for over seven months. Rev. Michael is a good and jolly man; before I moved to Kigali, I would go to him whenever I was struggling with work or family. Anytime I had a new acquisition I would go to him to pray for it. He got to meet my whole family.

Problem is, like most of our Christian friends, this man is nosy, especially when it comes to relationships. Before you get a man they will ask what is happening, you introduce them to one they start pestering you over the wedding. After the wedding it is children, after child number one they want number two and three. The concern in this field is real. But, try going to them saying you are broke and in need of a bail out, the ‘sisters in Christ’ will pretend not to know you.

What is so wrong with someone being in church and living their life? The same people read and preach about God’s timing but from the look of things they don’t believe it.

I decided to carry on the conversation with Rev. Michael, but he was quick to read the sign and move on. When I told him there was someone and we were taking each day as it came I expected him to ask deeper questions related to walking in sin, lucky for him, that question did not arise. 

We appreciate the role played by our brethren but would really love for them to mind their business. There should be a limit to what one should concern themselves with. We rarely see these people visiting a sick or a starving neighbour, or even a healthy one for that matter unless they belong to the same social class.

At the risk of being told I am touching the anointed, many live behind tall walls and will roll their car windows up as they head to church and will by pass a neighbour without saying hello. Before they bypass that person outside the gate many will not have even bothered to say good morning to the house help or at the very least allow them time to go to church. 

Disclaimer…this article is not only about pastors but all of us that know the word.

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