Marriage is not a fairy tale that we read about in books. At a tender age, I thought that I would be the princess who would find the prince and live happily ever after. Why did I think I would be Cinderella? It now all seems like deception.

I am puzzled, could it be gamophobia? Well, this is fear of commitment. Though it can also be the excessive, persistent, uncontrollable and irrational fear of marriage.

But then I am engraved in mixed feelings, I am frightened about the aftermath, yet I love the excitement of marching in the white gown, waving in honour, exchanging vows. Saying, "I do.” Imagine seeing mom swabbing her eyes with tears of joy, proud of her last born. Which parent wouldn’t be?

I am bothered about the worry of a perfect wedding, you wouldn’t understand if you have not watched a number of Telenovelas, like I have. I am obsessed about real love. The one with just minor slips. I mean the one John Legend sang about.

Marriage is beyond a gold or silver ring. A lot details it, that unfortunately you won’t notice before you taste it. Why wouldn’t I be worried?

A friend of mine has dated for five good years now, she hopes to one day see her boyfriend get down on one knee and propose just like how it is done in movies. To her dismay, it seems like a delusion that will never come to pass. Her ‘boo’ never talks about the future. He lives for now. When she tries to start a chat about the wedding, the guy gives excuses of finances and not being ready. Sincerely, five years! They both have good jobs, money is not a problem. The poor girl is not sure whether to hold on or walk away.

Please, please and please, stop asking people when they’re getting married? If you took a walk in their shoes, you would have a clue.

Go for marriage if only you are aware of each other spiritually, able to support yourselves financially, morally, and emotionally. Other things will fall in place when you are ready. Keep in mind that you don’t share just a relationship, but you share all your personal, social, legal and financial belongings.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw