Sixteen-year-old Ingabire inherited intergenerational trauma from her parents’ experiences related to the loss of their parents in the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. It started with a loss of hope in all aspects of life, beginning with academics, leading to a lack of focus in class and subsequent decline in performance.
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When her mother asked why she kept performing poorly, Ingabire explained that she was tired of studying—and life in general—revealing she had tried to commit suicide twice by swallowing 10 tablets.
Her mother was extremely frightened and sought help from a psychologist. The psychologist asked to speak with Ingabire, who agreed. Ingabire explained that she had lost interest in life because her parents’ parenting had troubled her, as they did not seek help after losing their parents in the Genocide.
"You can’t tell if my mother is happy or sad. She doesn’t stay with my father and never bothered to explain why,” she said.
Ingabire’s parents separated after her father mistreated her mother so frequently that she chose to leave for her own safety when she (Ingabire) was seven years old.
Living with her mother, she is troubled by her behaviour as she appears to be in pain, yet never addresses it—something is keeping her silent.
During Ingabire’s psychologist sessions, she was advised to note down all the questions she wished her parents would answer, and she received all the answers, relieving her of her worries.
With the psychologist’s support, she began the process of shaping her life and discovering her purpose without being tied to her parents’ past.
In her writing, she committed to enhancing her academic performance by aiming to be in the top five at school, and although she didn't quite reach that goal, she did make it to the top ten. Recovery is an ongoing journey.
Just like Ingabire, young people, including those born after the Genocide, have experienced similar trauma related to the Genocide. Some have received help and healed, while others are still undergoing therapy.
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What experts say
Jane Abatoni Gatete, the executive secretary of ARCT-RUHUKA, a national NGO of professional counsellors, said intergeneration trauma, also known as transgenerational trauma, is when the past experiences of parents or guardians affect the development of their children, and sometimes even their grandchildren, and the effects can display physically, socially, mentally, or emotionally.
It normally starts from traumatised parents as a result of extremely violent or life-threatening events that happened to them, such as genocide, war, violent conflicts, forced migration, disasters, starvation, and more, and in response to such stressful situations, it can be transmitted to their children, she noted.
"Therefore, it is obvious that children born after the Genocide in Rwanda, whose parents or guardians were affected will pass it on to their children, through negative parenting practices due to their wounds, emotions (psychological transference)—this refers to the way that a parent with unresolved trauma or unhealthy coping mechanisms interacts with their child,” Gatete explained.
One doesn’t need to directly experience trauma to be affected by it. Anyone related to someone with a traumatic experience in the same generation, immediate family, or subsequent generations, can experience symptoms, and if not fully healed, the cycle could endlessly continue, she stressed.
"Some possible effects, therefore, for children and their parents or guardians may include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The family members who witnessed or experienced the traumatic events often display PTSD symptoms, which can affect how they handle stress and their relationship with their children as parents or caregivers,” Gatete said.
Gatete stressed that some symptoms and effects of intergenerational trauma may include, but are not limited to, lack of trust or difficulty trusting others, anger, irrational fear, frustration or irritability, insecurity and poor self-esteem, regression, anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse, dissociation, and numbing hypervigilance, social avoidance, and withdrawal.
She further explained that intergenerational trauma is a disorder that has only recently begun to be understood, with biological, psychological, and cultural implications. Researchers are still discussing what exactly causes it and the best treatment.
Celestin Mutuyimana, a psychotherapist at Baho Smile Institute, a psychotherapeutic and research centre in Gikondo, explained that there are different ways of transmission highlighted in studies conducted in Rwanda, such as family systems and communication models. It is through attachment —the relationship a child has with the parent—if they have a close relationship and the parent is traumatised, the child is also likely to be.
He explained that the signs and symptoms of intergenerational trauma depend on children and the level of trauma. Many symptoms can be confused with symptoms of other disorders, thus, the need for special attention when working with young people.
Some of the indicators of this trauma are cognitive, for instance, lack of concentration, procrastination, failure in studies, and difficulty in memorisation and recalling information.
Other psychosocial signs are social withdrawal, mistrust, selective relationships, anger, aggression, revenge, family conflict, difficulties in planning, drug abuse, and nightmares, among others, Mutuyimana added.
Body-related indicators include headache, stomach ache, complications in menstruation, backache, and blindness among others.
Mutuyimana stressed that some young people could have symptoms that they are not able to explain. Therefore, they end up crying, isolating themselves, and developing suicidal ideas.
"What is exactly transmitted from parents to children is longing, for instance, feeling of strong attachment to deceased people, sense of emptiness due to loss of many people and properties — some trauma survivors feel empty. This emptiness is also transferred to their children. It results in loss of meaning of life.”
Mutuyimana observes that in the Rwandan community, there are various types of parents, including the ‘hesitant’ ones who are deeply traumatised but reluctant to discuss their experiences. This behaviour can lead to anxiety in their children.
Other terms are ‘disclosure’, for example, those who share details with their children as they may be the only ones they feel they can confide in. ‘Silent’ parents are individuals who are burdened by past traumas and opt for silence. ‘Reflectors’ drown in the thought of the loss of their loved ones which results in traumatic thoughts.
He noted that children are categorised into types, like ‘withdrawers’, who are detached and shocked by harsh parental attitudes, imitators who are close to their parents and emulate their behaviours, and others who cope with the situation by developing a resilient strategy despite the secondary trauma from their parents.
How to cope
Intergenerational trauma has a multiple effect on the well-being of families, therefore, ending the transgenerational transmission of trauma is critical to stop the cycle.
Gatete noted that help includes psycho-education for such people to know what is happening to them and why.
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"It is sometimes out of their control, and difficult to protect children due to painful past experiences, since they inform who we are and the way we relate to others including our children, unconsciously.
"It is also important to do inner work, therapy, or treatment for the entire family to stop the cycle of intergeneration trauma, through the healing therapy sessions. These allow one to manage and cope with the past and different emotions as one becomes aware of their triggers and how they affect parenting that could be avoided, and instead show them that overcoming a range of issues is possible,” she said.
Gatete further noted that during therapy, different approaches can be used for both individual and systemic approaches to identify the root causes of negative emotions and explore possible management, using different approaches and techniques, for example, Intergenerational Trauma Treatment or Therapy Model (ITTTM), and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).
Additionally, eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a treatment for conditions related to traumatic memories.