Dear Counsellor,
I recently joined the school my older sister is in. But she likes picking on me with her friends. She has made me hate the school so much that I asked our parents if I could change schools. But they think I am exaggerating. I feel like she should be looking out for me, not joining other kids to bully me. It is making me miserable. How can I handle this situation? Laura
High school is about growing into the person you want to be and moving forward against all odds to achieve your goals. I deeply understand the anguish of having your own sister, who is supposed to protect you in school, gang up with other students to bully you. Bullying may be physical, verbal, psychological or social and your ways of reaction will largely depend on the type of bullying you’re experiencing. In fact, research indicates that bullying has serious long-term negative effects on the students who experience it at school and it’s very depressing that your own sister participates in bullying you. You have two choices; you can let them ruin your life, or you can stand your ground and evolve into someone they’ll envy.
The first thing you need to do is to understand your sister’s intentions — why is she ganging up with other students to bully you? Is it merely for fun or is it sibling rivalry? Have a talk with your sister and ask her what’s wrong. If she doesn’t respond, this means she doesn’t have any solid reason or, she just hates you and won’t even talk about it. A good sister will tell you the truth. Also, you need to be more confident in yourself. Do things you really love and are good at as this will make you feel happier at school. Confidence will attract peers, including your own sister. This will keep you from falling into despair and you will be more constructive and appreciated by teachers and fellow students, even the bullies. Build a wide social network and get actively involved in social, academic, and religious quests in your school to discover your potential and put it to good use. Surround yourself with focused friends. Good friends will help you work towards your career goals.
If the bullying is physical and seemingly detrimental to your health, quickly report your sister and the other bullies to school authorities for disciplinary measures. I imagine your school has rules and regulations that govern students’ conduct and I think bullying is prohibited. If the school doesn’t react to your complaint, involve your parents as they will demand that the school takes action. Your parents will even act as mediators for you and your sister. Don’t think about switching schools because you may experience even worse out there. The danger of changing schools is that your study routines will be disrupted as the pace of comprehension slows down to accommodate new teachers, methodologies, content and students. Be strong and you’ll overcome bullying.
Their thoughts...
Anick Umubyeyi, Engineering student
Though she teases you at school, she is your sister and she doesn’t hate you. Talk to her about her behaviour towards you at school, and ask her to treat you like a sibling. Communication with your sister will change your situation at school.
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Choi Hyewon, Business student
It’s appalling that your own sister is bullying you at school instead of supporting you. She only teases you because you don’t have friends to hang out with. My advice is that you make good friends as their company will make you less of a target.
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Samuel Mugisha, Engineering student
Don’t worry; many of them do this when their siblings are new in school. Soon, all this will be over and by that time, you will have your own friends and also know your way out of any situation. It’s just a matter of time, hang in there.
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Emmanuel Yemmy, Engineering student
Speak out! If your sister and her friends tease you at school, then you need to report it to school authorities immediately. She might be your sister, but if she is not helping you out, as she should be, then let the school know that you are being teased. Teasing or bullying has no place in school.
Compiled by Dennis Agaba