I must commend you greatly for taking the initiative to pay your brother’s school tuition after the death of your parents. You’re making a great sacrifice by working to keep your brother in school. Unfortunately, your brother, just like many teenagers, has a very high level of defiance and arrogance, and takes things for granted. Your case is even worse as your brother seeks his own authority. While your aim is to protect his future, he feels he should take charge of his life and often perceives you as a threat to his freedom. He has no idea what the future holds for him without education. It is clear that you’re worried about your brother’s lack of interest in education. This is truly understandable, especially when you know the hassle of surviving in this contemporary world without any skills.    

 

As an adult and guardian, you need to apply good parenting skills, understand that he is going through adolescence — a stage in his life characterised by aggressiveness, emotional issues, resistance and self-esteem concerns. This is the stage during which minors try to form their own identity hence, rebellion. Fortunately, this stage is temporary and soon, he’ll be thankful for your role in helping him overcome this stage successfully. 

 

You need to first work on strengthening your sibling relationship and then approach him from a point of love and understanding.  Sit down with your brother and ask him what he wants to be in the future.  Don’t rebuke, nag or resent him. The idea is to soften defensiveness and let him substitute it with alliance. 

 

Be sure to inform him that his dream career will not be achieved through mediocrity, but determination and hard work, and that the amount of effort he puts in his studies will determine how far he’ll go.  

 

Tell him that he needs to work really hard to acquire specific skills which will help him fend for himself when he becomes an independent adult. 

 

Show him your willingness to help him transform into a responsible person by supporting him in his academic journey. 

 

If the situation gets out of hand, arrange for sessions with trusted family members and let them help you talk things through.  Approach his school counsellor and explain your worries. Counsellors are trained with skills that can help transform teenagers like your brother.  Also, by informing the school about his conduct, the school will pay attention to his behaviour and performance.  Nonetheless, if all your efforts seem futile, do not force him to change, rather, let him determine his own destiny because in the end, it is entirely up to him.