Dear Counsellor,

I love studying so much. However, lately I am fed up of going to school because of my fellow students who bully me so much. This is making my life at school difficult and my academic performance is declining. I don’t want to bother my parents asking them to take me to another school. How should I deal with this situation? Thanks. Angel

First, let me say congratulations because you enjoy studying, whereas many do not. I know it hurts when your peers bully you at school and this can ruin your self-esteem. Bullying may be physical, verbal, psychological or social and your ways of reaction largely depend on the type of bullying you’re experiencing. In fact, research indicates that bullying has serious long-term negative effects on the students who experience it at school. However, every obstacle in life introduces us to new opportunities to learn and how you respond to it is important. High school is about becoming the person you want to be and forging ahead against all odds to achieve your career goals. It’s your choice to give them the right to ruin your motivation or stand your ground and evolve into someone they’ll end up envying.  There are plenty of productive ways through which you can turn this into an exciting academic experience and strengthen your existing abilities to boost your confidence and improve your understanding and classroom concentration.

The first thing you need to do is to smash students with confidence. This means doing the things you really love and excelling at something so you feel happier and prouder at school. Here, you’ll generate more confidence to know that you’re an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you’ll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting students, including those who bully you. So don’t take it personally, rather, capitalise on eliminating your frustration and the negativity that imparts a scary force on your self-confidence and learning potential. This will keep you from falling into a pit of despair and, it will help you be more constructive — appreciated by teachers and fellow students. 

If you do well in school, you will be noticed for being an excellent student and you will have more opportunities to mix freely with your schoolmates.  Another easy method is to join extra-curricular activities. Whether you’re into football, the English club or a school band, joining a few extra-curricular activities will accelerate your socialisation process because you’ll get to know more people who share your interests. If the bullying is physical and seemingly detrimental to your health, quickly report these students to school authorities for disciplinary measures. I imagine your school has clear rules and regulations that govern students’ conduct and I think bullying must be prohibited. If the school doesn’t react to your complaint, involve your parents who will demand that the school acts on the bullying. Together with your parents, come up with a strategic plan to put an end to the bullying, not only will this give you confidence, it will help guide you through emotional turmoil and steer you away from

the bully zone. Don’t think of switching schools as a solution because you may even experience worse over there. The danger of changing schools is that your study routine will be disrupted as the pace of comprehension slows to accommodate new teachers, methodology, content and new students. Plus, the environment may involve a learning curve which could put your studies at risk. Be strong and you’ll overcome bullying.