Dear counsellor,

I dropped out of school thinking I was going to reap big from a small business I had started against my parents’ plea to continue with my education. However, few months later my business collapsed, and now I am wondering around looking for an opportunity to continue with my studies.

How do I convince my parents to trust me again and support me to continue with school?

Yours, Kasasira

Your biggest loyalty lies with your passion at large, and the potential of having to listen to your parents’ advice for the most successful person they’d want to see out of you. You hurt their feelings when you dropped out of school despite their efforts and sacrifice to provide all what it took you to be in school. The higher you set your own aspirations, the bigger you got disappointed with the business you thought would translate into a direct shortcut to a much wealthier and fulfilling life. You lost the trust of your parents and you must be disillusioned I guess but this set a good platform for your own learning and personal assessment about the significance of parental advice.

You need to turn back to your parents and repent for this mess and find ways of re-fixing the relationship if you need to get back to school. Be willing to accept and acknowledge your faults in the deterioration of your relationship. Honest acknowledgement of your mistakes will be appreciated and can become the basis for a stronger foundation through which you can capture their motivation to again support you through school. Be totally honest about what you feel and what they should expect out of you by reassuring them about how mature you have become. This would require your ability to convince your parents and give a clear and feasible plan for your school completion. If possible, prove this in your actions, perhaps by behaving really well at home or helping out around the domestic chores. They’d feel emotionally touched by your conduct and expression and once again get involved in your life as a transformed child. Setting ambitious goals that can be accomplished with much effort is a wonderful thing to demonstrate your level of determination.

If they are not open to having a talk and are still upset with you, then the best thing you could do is to write them a letter describing your point of view in a respectful tone and they’d surely see your point of view much better this way. Verbal interaction can often go out of hand and result in increasing tempers and can even lead into a physical clash but a letter just conveys your thoughts, not your animosity or anger. Explain to them that, by giving you a second chance will be a powerful way of preparing you for adulthood that will provide them support as they grow older and less independent.