Some call it the ‘smallest handcuffs’ in the world. Losing it without any convincing explanation is like condemning yourself to life in ‘love prison.’ Welcome to the world of wedding rings. Many couples spend a fortune on engagement and wedding rings. It is one of the most important items on a wedding budget. But losing the ring sends many a couple in unexplainable anxieties: explaining loss of a ring to a loved one is as hard as facing a job interview panel headed by your ex fiancé. It takes a lot of explaining to justify how a ring supposed to be neatly fixed on your finger can all of a sudden get lost. 

I’m not a bling person. In fact, the only thing close to bling you will ever find on me is the heavily rusted buckle of my belts, sorry belt –for I have just one. Why stack up on dozens of belts when I never tuck in my shirts and, therefore, nobody ever gets to see my belts?

I am not a bling person and therefore it’s very unlikely I would be a "ring person” in the event that I got married. But that’s just me.

"… don’t forget that in today’s world security has invaded the ring’s nest …there are times you are requested to remove your ring if there are squeaking sounds when you get screened,” Hope Azeda, the founder and artistic director of the Mashirika Performing Arts and Media Company attempts to explain the challenges that come with keeping one’s marital ring permanently on.

I had asked if she was one of those people who believe that a marital ring should never be put off, "till death do us part.”

"Of course, I do take off my wedding ring everyday! How else would I bathe? Even for a proper manicure the ring has to be removed,” she notes.

She believes that losing one’s wedding ring is no longer a big problem today, "because you can easily get a replacement”.

"I think I’d tell him,” she retorts when asked if she would freely tell her hubby of a lost ring, adding:

"I and my husband have each lost rings or misplaced them and helped each other find them back.”

Even with this, she still notes that "every time you lose a ring, you panic a bit.”

The other question has got to do with who is more likely to lose their ring: you, or your spouse?

What’s obvious even without recourse to statistics is the fact that men are the biggest culprits here. Men lose their wedding rings in many different ways –when engaged in sports and gym activities, when they want to engage in a fist fight, or when they want to eat jack fruit.

Field soldiers, for instance, on account of the nature of their work, cannot be expected to be the best ring-keepers.

Other popular ways of parting with one’s marital ring are organized sports or outdoor activities, home maintenance, lawn care, renovations.

Also, there are more wedding rings lost among newly-weds as compared to the long time veteran at it. When newly married, chances are that wearing a ring was not something you were accustomed to.

"Most people will tell you they have lost or misplaced their wedding ring at some point, however the great news is that most find them after carefully looking,” reckons Nicole Ansoni, the owner of Ansoni Luxury Events, one of the premier Event management and design companies in Kigali.

"However for some the loss is unfortunately very real and permanent. In these situations my first advice is: Do not panic! These things can happen; sometimes your ring is oversized and doesn’t fit, often times women who are expecting remove the ring when they get swelling etc... So the first thing to do before you panic is look for the ring. Retrace your steps to where you would have last seen it. You might get lucky and find your ring.”

Her next and "most important advice is:

"Insure the ring when you buy it. People often neglect getting insurance coverage on their jewelry and believe me that insurance will come in handy when you lose that ring. If you insured your ring, go straight to your jeweler in case of a loss and file a claim. Depending on your coverage your jeweler should be able to replace your ring with a new identical one or one of the same or equal value. If you didn’t get insurance. ..This is the part where you should probably call your spouse and give them the bad news.”

"The ring also needs protection,” concludes Azeda: "You can’t make bricks with your ring on. Anything that will damage or scratch my ring, I remove the ring for safety.”

"But at the end of the day what we all have to remember is that it’s only a ring...what matters most is your union, a ring can always be replaced,” Ansoni says for her part.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw

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YOUR VOICE: What would you do if you lost your wedding ring?

Mary Murerwa, Communications Officer

I look at a wedding ring as a physical symbol of union with one’s spouse, and this proves how important and incomparable the ring is to a person’s marriage. If I happen to lose my wedding ring, definitely I would feel bad, and irresponsible for not taking care of such a priceless representationof my marriage. In my opinion, I would first approach my spouse;ask for compassion, and consideration. However, I would consider putting on another ring in mean time, as i wait for my original ring at the jewellery store. The worst mistake a married person can do is moving on without his/her ring on.

Moses Ndungutse, Front Desk Agent-Hotel des mille collines by Kempinski

A wedding ring is a sign of commitment, love and symbolic value you attribute to your spouse. It is a something irreplaceable that married people should hold on to everyday. So personally, looking at the value of a ring to my marriage, if I happen to lose it, the first thing do is to communicate to my spouse, apologise for being careless, and also promise to take proper precautions so it won’t happen again. Of course, the next step is to look for a perfect replacement.

Benigne Irambona, Customer-Care Agent

There is no better first step than communicating to your spouse regarding the loss of such a strong and cherished mark of your marriage.This is time you explain to your spouse what led to such terrible mistake to happen, and discuss ways you can ensure it doesn’t happen again. It’s also important to find a replacement immediately, since I find it an acceptable for a married person to move out without his/her wedding ring.

Emmanuel Nsengiyumva, Teacher

Losing a wedding ring, at some point it can interpreted as leaving behind the commitment you have with your spouse, which might even affect the stability of love and trust in your marriage. When you happen to lose your ring; I believe this is a point when you swallow the humble pie, and apologise with sincerity to your partner. Of course, the next thing to do is to find another ring before it becomes a public drama, with your spouse’s consent of course.

Compiled by Dennis Agaba