Most of us were very thickset. Maybe it was the growth hormone or maybe it was the spirit of gluttony that the ‘savedees’ liked to preach and pray and fast to eliminate. Either way most of us had such high appetites that we could rival pigs. We ate too much and thought and walked too little.

As a result, most of us were walking around with our stomachs leading the way. And because of that, we had body image issues and we carried our emotions on our sleeves. We were like ticking time bombs and we could go off any second if anyone dared to say anything about our evident chubbiness.

Maybe that’s why nobody suspected that Mary was with child. Yes, she had terrible mood swings and she was sweaty all the time but so were the rest of us. We all went on with our days in ignorant bliss.

Besides, there was no way Mary could be a girl like that; one who would allow boys to violate her when she so solemnly vowed to follow Christ every time preachers came to our school. She would raise her hands in surrender, there were tears and all.

She would subsequently sign the abstinence pledge cards that preachers often blackmailed and even scared us into signing. AIDS, the wrath of God, unwanted pregnancy…they painted vivid pictures and at the end of each session we would be falling over ourselves to make written promises to ourselves and to God to stay chaste.

Yes, there was something curious about the way Mary got too friendly with male preachers. Every time she got saved (and she got saved many, many times), she would make sure to give each of the male preachers a long, warm hug.

But who could blame her? Any ofus would have loved to do that. After all, we were locked up in a single sex school in the middle of nowhere nine out of twelve months every year. The only boys we knew were teachers and cooks and canteen attendants. Her behavior was not cause for alarm.

We would have had to suspect those girls from the entertainment club who walked around in skin-tight clothing, wound their waists to ‘worldly music’ and openly talked about their love for boys before we could suspect Mary of promiscuity.

But in the eighth month God sent signs such as nausea and the school matron got curious. She did a pregnancy test and her fears were confirmed.

Seeing Mary she had only a few days left to her last national examination, she was allowed to stay in school. And to avoid us discriminating against her, they didn’t breathe a word about her condition to anyone.

We were led to believe that she had some special type of illness that required her to sleep in the sickbay. Savedees, like the overly enthusiastic bunch (but this time very unaware bunch) they were, prayed tirelessly to cast out the demon of sickness out of Mary.

The demon did come out. Except it wasn’t a demon; it was a baby. A December baby. A miracle baby (miracle because none of us expect it) that came out during Mary’s final examination.

We would have called him Jesus except he wasn’t here on earth to seek and save the lost and his conception absolutely had nothing to do with the Holy Spirit.