While it sounds poignant when a child fails to get along with his biological parents, there are many ways you can deal with this state of affairs.

The trick lies in your ability to make them love and feel proud of you as their precious-obedient child. Strive for cooperation and compliance both of which connote mutual consideration and freedom to contribute one’s opinion and influence. Your parents are a reason for your existence; therefore, appreciate all the things they do for you, including paying your tuition.  They make a lot of sacrifices for you, so reward their efforts with gratitude, obedience and a positive respectful attitude.

Take a moment to remember that while you may not be able to control your emotions in response to their ‘unkind’ words or conduct, you can control your response. Allow yourself time to process your emotions. A calm and measured response is always better than a thoughtless and harsh response. Make a step back and take the blame. Avoid arguments with your parents even if sometimes they seem unfair. Remember that, above all, it’s your parents that should make the final decision for you and that it’s inappropriate for you to try to have the last word.

Remember that your parents have human weaknesses too and looking for only their perfect part is unrealistic. Therefore before you expect them to reform, be the first agent of change. Assume responsibility around the house by doing extra chores and have a chat with them about the way you feel. Remember to treat your parents with respect if you are going to achieve anything. That way, you will be able to enjoy the holiday in the company of your parents.

YOU DEBATE

Vallence Hafashimana, a student

Make yourself busy this holiday by engaging in productive activities like reading and doing house chores. I believe the reason you normally pick up fights with your parents is because you are idle most of the time.

Elias Muneza, an artist

Since arguments with your parents normally develop into quarrels, I would advise you to stop arguing with them unnecessarily. Only focus on healthy conversations.

Jennifer Rugeni, assistant director, Spiderman Games Center                                    

The solution to your dilemma is to change your attitude towards your parents. It is time to believe that you can have a good discussion with your parents.

Ronald Collins, business student                                       

Dear Paul, parents can’t think or act the way you want all the time. As a young person, you have to compromise and learn to lose some arguments you have with your parents. Learn to listen to your parents and give them the respect they deserve.