You come home from school. You realise that there is a gathering of sorts and everyone eyes you curiously as you walk through the door. In time, you are told that it’s been decided that you are to get married.

It is shocking because no one asked you if you wanted to get married. It might be because your family was paid a few Rwandan francs or given a few cows.

You are told to choose between marriage and being disowned by your family. Do you cower? No. You say no. You tell them that article 26 of the national constitution says, "No person may be married without his or her free consent.”

Free consent, in this case, is in two forms. The first form is about willingness. It’s about whether or not you want to get married. It’s about willing to take and keep the "till death do us part” vow.

The second form of consent comes from paragraph 5.6 of the Integrated Child Rights Policy (ICRP) which says that the legal age for consent to marriage is 21 years. Therefore, tell them that even if you did want to get married, it would be illegal to do it now since you are not yet 21.

Tell them that their threats are of no effect and that in fact, they could get into a lot of trouble. Paragraph 5.6.1 of the ICRP says, "Severe penalties prescribed by existing laws apply for those conducting/forcing marriages of persons below the legal marriage age of 21 years.”

Refer them to article 194 of the penal code of Rwanda which says that any person who lives with or attempts to live together with a child as husband or wife shall be liable to the same penalty as a person who defiled a child. And what’s the penalty for defilement? Life imprisonment.

Oh. Let them know that there is also a penalty for those who try to force you into marriage in article 195 of the penal code which says that any person who plays a role in early or forced marriage of a minor shall be liable to a term of imprisonment of six (6) months to two(2) years and a fine of Rwf.100, 000 to Rwf. 300, 000.