I need a large bowl of popcorn. This Fifa "movie” is more entertaining than the ones I’ve watched recently. What I don’t understand is why Sepp Blatter is refusing to read the very clear writing on the wall.

From whichever angle you look at this, he has to leave Fifa and clinging on as he’s doing will only compound his problems. A time will come when he will be arrested and most likely extradited to the US as many of his compatriots have or will be soon. 

Like the saying goes, the fish rots from the head and while I don’t want to be judgmental, it’s kind of hard to believe Blatter’s repeated argument that he’s innocent and a victim of a US-backed witch-hunt. No doubt Fifa is a big organization and who knows, he may have been too busy and somehow missed what was going on. 

Honestly though, I don’t believe all that money grabbing and backroom deals went on without his knowledge. If his hands are clean as he says, then he should have stepped aside months ago to allow investigations to proceed. Insisting to stay on till next February only makes him look more suspicious. 

He probably wants to oversee those very elections to ensure that whoever takes over is on his side and won’t spill any more secrets on the dirty deals. If he had quit four or five years ago, perhaps he would have pulled that off. Now however, I don’t think anyone is going to let him chose his own successor. 

Tabloids and the online community already have caricatures of a handcuffed Blatter and sadly, that is most likely going to be his fate. I would advise him to do the following: Leave Switzerland immediately. 

It will be hard for him to get away given the recent developments in the case against him and several Fifa executives. What he can do is try and sneak out. Politicians and other fugitives do it all the time. 

A man of his stature must surely have friends in high places who can help him escape. He needs to drop the Mercedes or his other luxurious cars and power suits though. 

He can even take it further and get a wig and wear some makeup. Desperate times call for desperate measures as the saying goes. Once he’s out of the country, he should contact the Russians or Qataris. 

Both owe him for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup hosting rights and now is the time to call in a favour. It might not be easy since we don’t know yet if those rights won’t be revoked, given the questionable circumstances under which they were awarded but I don’t think Russia or Qatar would deny him refuge. 

Given both countries’ oil wealth, he would reside in a 5-Star Hotel for the rest of his life if he desired. So, Mr Blatter, in the unlikely event that you’re reading this, it’s not too late to run for your life because if you don’t, you sure are going to end up in jail, probably one in the US.