Gusaba is a Kinyarwanda verb translated as ‘to ask’ and is the ceremony where the family of the groom-to-be officially requests for a girl as a bride.

These two ceremonies are considered as ceremonies for families and the society and this is mainly because the Rwandan society believes that a person belongs to the society. Therefore, the family of the would-be bride, as well as the people of her neighbourhood and friends would be consulted for their approval on this marriage and it is in that sense that the groom to be and his father, the bride to be and her father never participate in that function.

Since this ceremony was looked at as a step of the unification between the two families then the matters had to be taken beyond the four figures.

Modeste Nsanzabaganwa, a director of language, research, protection and promotion unit at Rwanda Academy of Language And Culture, says the groom’s family would go to the girl’s family carrying with them beer to ask for the girl’s hand in marriage and nothing can be done before the two representatives from both families share that beer. Then the representatives from both sides would start the ceremony.

Jean Nduwayo, 65, says gusaba was a battle of wits, often involving traditional tongue-twisters as well as riddles and pranks from the girl’s side to test their intelligence and patience and it is on this day where whoever had a reason that should prevent the two from getting married would be given room to put it across.

Nsanzabaganwa, however, explains that today all that is done at the commune level, Gusaba is just a representation of the tradition because we are asking for a bride that we already have.

And when this ceremony would be a success, then the two families would proceed to the next part of the ceremony which would be the dowry.

Setting dowry

The girl’s family would suggest the kind of dowry they would like in return for their daughter and the families agreed on different dowry items. In the book Imihango nimigenzo nimiziririzo, the author mentions some items that were given away as a bride price. They included local beer ( amaarwa and urwagwa) in pots, a cow(s) for the families that had cattle or goats if they did not have cows and hoes (cyozi cyongera Inka and mbogo). The items were supposed to be delivered before this visit. The author says in some cases, the boy’s family would, on top of the above mentioned items, be required to also bring a special stick.

And incase of failure to get what was set by the girl’s family, certain conditions would be set. However, whenever the two families would agree on the bride price set by the girl’s family, then the payment would be settled.

Unlike today, cows were a respectable item for dowry, and so they would be led to where the ceremony is as proof of settling their payment. But today, due to westenisation, cows are no longer brought at the functions and sometimes their value is determined in monetary terms.