'Kayasi' and all its terror

Kayasi, famine, was a period of time after examinations, before End of Term when most of us were running on empty pockets. Worse still, we couldn’t seek solace in school food. By this time, weevils, cockroaches and rats had already reigned terror on the school store so that food was now in a stale, tasteless state.

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Kayasi, famine, was a period of time after examinations, before End of Term when most of us were running on empty pockets. Worse still, we couldn’t seek solace in school food. By this time, weevils, cockroaches and rats had already reigned terror on the school store so that food was now in a stale, tasteless state. It was also common to suddenly hear an eardrum-shuttering scream during a meal. Upon investigation, it would be found that the scream was coming from a student who had accidentally munched on cockroach meat. It was a very bad time.

The school administration had learnt, through experience, that a hungry man is an angry man and that an idle man is the devil’s workshop, and that a hungry, idle man is a weapon of mass destruction. So during kayasi, they went to great lengths to keep us occupied and entertained. They organised praise rallies and we clapped and sang between yawns.

They brought us preachers who spoke with so much strength of voice that it roared above our growling stomachs. They brought us preachers who obsessively told us that the devil was trying to steal our souls, thereby leaving us paranoid. A mosquito could easily be your dead grandmother trying to suck your blood and sacrifice you to the devil. Many animals died violent deaths. May their souls rest in peace.

Despite the suffering kayasi infringed on us, term after term most of us stuck to the motto: eat once and starve. We couldn’t master the patience and self-control needed to hoard eats or save money for the rainy days. We continued to spend money on fat oily doughnuts, eating them almost immediately after supper. We continued to lick sugar on Saturday afternoons, gossiping and rumour mongering all the while.

Sugar was the most treasured item during kayasi. I guess it’s because our first meal of the day was always maize porridge. How did the maize porridge taste? Well, I can’t give a satisfactory description but it definitely had a hint of steel mixed with grass. Suffice it to say that it was a terrible experience for our tongues and woe unto you if you drank it without sugar. I guess that’s why the phrase, "Girls are bad. They stole my sugar-some sugar” was invented and often used to sugarcoat shameless begging.

One night during kayasi, I was minding my business, dreaming of fat oily doughnuts that I now couldn’t afford. Suddenly, I felt the movement of many organisms in my hair. I knew that it couldn’t possibly be lice because I washed my hair with soap everyday. And if it wasn’t lice, then it had to be the devil trying to steal my brain. I started hitting my head and screaming hysterically.

Before long, it was discovered that the organisms in my head were ants. Half way through the term, I had resolved not to beg for sugar during kayasi. So I took a portion of it and put it in my pillow case. Ants chanced upon it and decided to help themselves to it, and further still, stay and enjoy the free supply. They reproduced and now there were so many of them that I couldn’t get rid of them without getting rid of sugar. It didn’t seem wise to get rid of sugar during kayasi. It was easier to scoop them out with a spoon after pouring porridge into my cup. But some of them stayed in the cup and ended up in my belly.