It all started as a small idea in 2010. Initially, it was an evening that was set aside to bring women together to talk and support each other.
It all started as a small idea in 2010. Initially, it was an evening that was set aside to bring women together to talk and support each other. What was originally meant to be a simple evening once in a while became a hit, was developed and broadened further to involve men and sometimes children, and in March 2013, "Umugoroba w’ababyeyi” (Parents’ Evening) was officially born.
Marguerite Uwamahoro, a Women Mobilisation Officer at the National Women’s Council says that the evening was the Council’s initiative to provide parents and sometimes children, an opportunity to discuss challenges faced by their families and find ways of resolving them.
The initiative has been a platform that has registered positive changes that include conflict resolution, teaching savings culture, a fall in child and domestic abuse and better family planning methods. She however says that the initiative works better in places where the leaders are hands-on.
"Some people are aware of the initiative, others are not but it all depends on the leadership of that particular area. Wherever the local authorities put in lots of effort, you will find that people are aware and are active participants,” Uwamahoro says.
According to Uwamahoro, problems are solved at the village level and cases which would have been dealt with by the local leaders are indeed reduced since most issues are dealt with during family meetings, apart from those which require the law to intervene.
Both citizens and the local leaders told The New Times that Umugoroba w’ababyeyi came with many advantages, some of which were surprising.
Geoffrey Nyamaswa, the village leader of Gasave sector in Kicukiro district says that the initiative has made a big difference in the wellbeing of the society at large.
"When we meet, we discuss about family, parents discuss issues concerning their children, matters of domestic violence, child abuse and conflicts in families are also discussed.
Everything in family circles is tackled and indeed good results have been achieved,” he saysNyamaswa explains that at the beginning, it was hard for people to open up but with time, people are beginning to get used to each other and are now openly discussing what were previously viewed as secret matters; sharing experiences and testimonies; something that he says is inspiring.
"We are making progress. There are times that parents even invite children especially the youth and counsel them. We allocate time to teach the children about cultural values, reproductive health and how they can prepare themselves when they are ready to start their own families.
We make sure that there are times parents visit and get to know each other which is a step that we consider vital in preventing conflicts,” he says.
Nyamaswa pointed out an example of a conflict which would have gone on to affect a young girl’s future but was nipped in the bud by the family gathering.
The girl, who had been impregnated and dumped by the father of her unborn child, was also on the other hand thrown out of her home by her family members, who were trying to safeguard their reputation.
The girl, according to Nyamaswa reported her family but she was advised to go back to the village level, where the meeting resolved that her parents take her in again and support her as expected of a family unit.
Nyamaswa encourages people to become a part of this programme because the benefit it comes with are many. "You may find that it is my problem today but tomorrow it could be yours that needs solving. We should work together to fight for the wellbeing of our society,” he adds.
Venuste Karekezi the village leader of Rukundo cell in Kacyiru sector says that most people think that family meetings are meant for mothers only, which isn’t the case.
He says that both parents have to participate since it’s always a variety of family matters that are being discussed.
"Families always have to deal with a lot; a husband could be harassing the wife or even the wife harassing the husband. Some people neither know their responsibilities nor their rights, this is all discussed in those meetings,” Karekezi says.
He says that as a result of these meetings, more children have been enrolled in school as a result of more sensitization drives about the government’s Universal Primary Education programme.
Karekezi continues to explain that, Umugoroba w’ababyeyi has lots of advantages though the only challenge is that people haven’t responded well enough.
"If we get the desired response from our community, I am sure that there will be a huge difference in our societies and domestic issues will be minimised,” he says
Through the meeting, residents of Rukundo village launched a union where they save money, an initiative that has helped parents to pay school fees easily.
Divine Nikuze a resident of Kacyiru says that the programme has made a huge difference in her home.
"I rarely find it hard to pay for my children’s school fees because of our savings union which supports us. When it comes to marital problems, it is not something that you can easily say that it won’t happen again. The advantage now is that we can have a sounding board whenever the issues threaten to get out of hand,” Nikuze says.
Claudine Hakizimana says that the society has transformed for the better because of the family meetings.
"Through this, we have developed a lot. However small or big, I can tell you that we have at least registered a positive difference from this initiative,” she says.
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I say: Does Umugoroba w’ababyeyi programme mean anything to you?
Joyce Nyirabagande
The Umugoroba w’ababyeyi programme is a cornerstone to our current development and well-being as women. It’s an opportunity to share different productive ideas on how to improve our families’ well-being for instance; hygiene, where we ensure that every woman in our community is living in a neat and healthy home. This is made possible and encouraged by visits and inspections among ourselves as women living in that community.
Beletilida Akimanizanye
Umugoroba w’ababyeyi gives us an opportunity to discuss how to emphasize and promote the values of the "Ndi Umunyarwanda” (I am Rwandan) campaign in our families. It is also an opportunity to teach our daughters how to behave morally putting culture and their dignity ahead.
Yvonne Mukarimba
It means a lot to us. Knowing how to solve family conflicts and most importantly, learning how to respect our husbands are some of the best aspects that the programme has made possible for us. Before this programme was initiated, family conflicts and domestic abuse was common but eventually, such issues are becoming something of the past, thanks to the emergence of Umugoroba w’ababyeyi.
Christine Mutesi
Of course it means something to me. The programme has led to establishment of women savings cooperatives and as a result made the culture of saving possible amongst us. Every member of the community contributes to the community savings basket and this money is later used to help any woman member with an emergency or a member who needs to invest in a small business.
Mariette Macho
Umugoroba w’ababyeyi promotes family values. Women get to know how families used to live with each other historically and most importantly the role of a woman in family development. Eventually, it is such values that have restored the dignity of a woman in the community and fostered peace between wife and husband.
Margret Uwimana
Oh yes! It means a lot to us. It has yielded unity and reconciliation where several women who initially couldn’t see eye to eye can now sit and talk. When it comes to teaching people how to put conflicts aside and work towards a common goal, Umugoroba w’ababyeyi is the answer.
Compiled by Dennis Agaba