Today’s dot.com woman doesn’t behave like our mothers back in the day; she instead drinks like fish and spends more time catching up over a drink.
Today’s dot.com woman doesn’t behave like our mothers back in the day; she instead drinks like fish and spends more time catching up over a drink. That was what a frustrated newly married young man posted on Facebook, last week. Funny as it may sound; the observation holds some water, if the rise in the number of women staying up late in bars on binge drinking is anything to go by.
Eric Mugiraneza’s marriage to Josiane, who works with a telecom firm, is on the rocks because of the wife’s drinking habits. He says she comes home in the middle of the night, hardly able to walk every day.
"We’ve only been married for two years, but now, everything is out of control. Her drinking has gone to the extreme and this makes us fight constantly. Our marriage is on the rocks,” Mugiraneza says.
In Rwanda, there are no documented statistics about the magnitude of women who abuse alcohol but counselors say the trend is usually high among the educated women. And this is collaborated by international research.
A 2013 Gallup poll among women in America found that the more educated and well off a woman is, the more likely she is to imbibe. The study revealed that in the past few decades, the percentage of women who classify themselves as regular drinkers has risen across the board.
The percentage of black women who said they drank regularly rose from 21% to over 30. But what would push a woman into becoming an alcoholic?
According to Maurice Rukimbira, a counselor at ST. Etienne Cathedral, women drink because of different reasons; for some it is because of the troubles they are facing. However, he warns that resorting to alcohol is never a solution.
"When you have issues, drinking alcohol will only worsen your problems; it only brings more troubles,” Rukimbira says.
Joyce Kirabo, a counselor and mentor says sometimes drinking among women starts as a luxury, especially for young working women. "Some of these women have grown up in families that are used to fabulous things and since alcohol is seen as something classy, they automatically go for it. She also cites campus girls who drink because they think it’s cool and stylish.
She says that for married women, in most cases they drink as a way to blur their troubles at home. "Some of them are stressed with men who might be cheating on them and as a way to shake off the stress, they resort to drinking. But they overlook the fact that once they are sober, the problems will still be there,” she says.
However, Pastor David Ewagata of Christian Life Assembly argues that no problem is worth pushing a decent woman to the bottle.
"Some may just want to move with a trend, ignoring the trouble they are inviting. Many of the problems faced in marriages stem from such habits,” Pastor Ewagata warns.
Implications
According to Pastor Ntawukinanimana Niruminata of Rehoboth Church Kanombe, alcohol abuse among women destroys morals and self dignity.
Kirabo echoes a similar view.
Alcohol abuse makes a person irresponsible and they never concentrate on developmental issues, hence priorities get mixed up. Money which would have been used for productive ventures is wasted on booze. It also ruins someone’s physical and mental capacity to work, Kirabo cautions.
Health risks
Dr. Joseph Kamugisha, a health expert at Rwanda Military Hospital, explains that consumption of alcohol is harmful to one’s health, especially if one consumes it excessively.
He says that too much alcohol can cause blood brain damage and in extreme cases death. The Alcohol can also affect the liver, the kidney, and pancreas-leading to organ failure.
According to online research, alcohol presents yet another health challenge for women. Even in small amounts, alcohol affects women differently than men. In some ways, heavy drinking is much more risky for women than it is for men.
There are times and ways to drink that are safer than others. Every woman is different. No amount of drinking is 100 percent safe, 100 percent of the time, for every woman. With this in mind, it’s important to know how alcohol can affect a woman’s health and safety.
Way forward
Amos Furaha, a counselor at Live Again Rwanda, a rehabilitation centre, says that many people take long to realise drinking is a problem and it’s not only women but even men.
"Drinking is a cycle of dependence that people can create as a source of pleasure but later turns out hard to break. Divorce rates are going up as a result of such vices, a simple argument under influence of alcohol can lead to separation.
"A few women, though, come to us with alcoholism issues and we want to help more people deal with problem instead of opting for alcohol as a solution,” Furaha says.
Kirabo adds that the solution for women struggling to kick out alcoholism is by gradually breaking away from the habit. "If she is taking ten bottles, we advise her to reduce to like three bottles since addiction is not something you can break overnight,” she says.
"I also encourage women to get involved in activities that keep them busy so as to fight such habits. They can join clubs and church groups that condemn such behaviour,” Kirabo advises.
What women say
Norah Mutesi a student at Adventist University of Kigali says that drinking is something that will never cross her mind and she wouldn’t wish to learn how to take it.
"The only thing that comes out of it is missing lectures and getting terrible headaches as a result of hangovers. I understand that most girls my age think it’s cool to drink but I don’t think that’s true,” Mutesi says.
However 32-year-old Ariane Keza argues that women who drink excessively are the ones tarnishing the image of women.
She says an occasional glass of wine or two with the girls as a way to relax and have fun is ok.Gasana Titus, a shop attendant, says women should not drink because they are vulnerable and can be exposed to dangers like rape which will end up in unwanted pregnancies or worse, sexually transmitted diseases.
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I say: What do you think can be done to curb alcohol abuse among women?
Anita Mutesi
At times people drink because of peer influence. In my opinion, you do not have to drink when other people drink. You do not have to take a drink that is given to you. Women who drink should practice ways to say no politely. For example, you can tell people you feel better when you don’t drink.
Alexia Mupende
It’s not bad to drink, but it’s a matter of concern if the amount you drink is high and your ability to manage it or control yourself is weak. In my opinion, the best way is to drink responsibly and respect yourself and those around you. Every person needs to know their limits when it comes to drinking and that will help reduce the problem.
Gisa Fridiane Kayitana
Drinking alcohol sometimes is a habit that results from sloth, thus women should endeavor to find ways to stay occupied. For instance, one can engage in healthier activities like doing something fun with family or friends. Go out to eat, watch a movie, or engage in sports or even read a book to keep you busy.
Aliany Musabyimana
Cutting down on alcohol immediately may be difficult at times. But women need to know that their lives are more important, thus they should be willing to do whatever it takes to overcome it. A good way forward would be to talk to a doctor or a counselor for help.
Dorcus Ndamage
The majority of women end up drinking when they are depressed or having a certain problem. In my opinion, there is no need to drink when you are angry, upset or have a bad day. These are habits you need to break because problems will still be there.
Lilian Karera
Curbing alcohol consumption is a journey; one step to achieving this is for women who drink to let go. It is hard to stop something you love and might be addicted to but with a goal to change your life for the better, it is possible. Giving up should not be an option, keep trying until the habit is fully defeated.
Compiled by Dennis Agaba