How does one balance between family life, work and business? I am a 32-year-old mother of two. I have a day job and a business that I run with my husband who also has a job.

At the end of the day I have to go home and be a mother to my daughters and a wife to my husband. It is straining, at times I feel like I have no energy left in me or the will to rise another day.

It is good because at times it pays off; we pay our bills on time, kids get to go to school and my husband seems happy, but how long can I go before I break down? Should I consider giving up some things and just be a wife and a mother? Where should I strike a balance? I am not asking to be allowed to laze around, no, I only wish to retain my sanity. 

Grace

The counselor’s thoughts...

Dear Grace, there is no single formula for attaining a balanced life. It’s a personal decision how you combine your career, spouse, children, friends and self into an integrated whole. The key is to develop creative solutions as you approach the challenges of balancing the responsibilities and the pleasure of your multiple roles. Some of the skills and strategies you use at work, such as planning, organising, communicating, setting limits and delegating, can be used effectively on the home-front for achieving a satisfying and fulfilling life both personally and professionally. The following steps can help make both your career and family flourish.

Build a support network. Ask for help and get your children involved so you can work together as a team.

Approach friends, family, neighbours, bosses or work colleagues and ask for their support. Establish limits and boundaries because they are an imaginary line of protection that you draw around yourself. They define how you take charge of your time and space and get in touch with your feelings. They express the extent of your responsibilities and show others what you are willing to do or accept.

Create time for yourself. Being a good parent, partner and professional means being good to yourself first. Find ways to relax and relieve tension and minimise stress. This will benefit your work and family tremendously. Get organised and determine your own standards. Set priorities, work smarter and keep a main calendar centrally located to post everyone’s activities. Be flexible and forgive yourself when things don’t get done. Also, realise that in order to achieve success you can give up some of your original goals and set new ones with different but equal challenges.

Spend quality time with your family. Create relationships with your spouse and children that are not incidental but rather instrumental to your success. Leave your kids in capable hands. Find someone you feel comfortable with and get involved with your children’s care providers by communicating frequently and observing interactions between caregiver and your child. Never give up.

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Your feedback: Readers advise Grace

Can your business alone sustain you?

Didier Krystal

In business, you must always think of breaking even. Sit down and think of your business and find out if it will be able to sustain you without working for someone else. If it can’t, hang in there, if it can, then you need to figure out what is most important to you.

Prioritise what is important

Noel Masamba Kyabagu

When your children grow up, the memories of a good life and good schools aren’t the ones that stick, but the time they spent with their parents. If you and your husband work full time then you have to prioritise what is most important.

It can work if you plan well

Sophie Kamikazi

Working full time with a side business can be planned well and still make time for family. When you have some free time, be sure to make very good use of it and shower your family with love.

You have to make a sacrifice

Ariho Martin

Sometimes as a mother you have to sacrifice yourself for the wellbeing of your family. Get up extra early and sleep very late just for your children to have the best. They will understand that they had a mother who gave up her life for them. That is love.

The children will cherish your time with them

Kelly Umutoni 

You might have to leave out many things because at the end of the day, only the bond you build with your children is what they cherish, not the amount of money you made while away.

 Compiled by P. Buchana

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Your care for them matters most

Mark Musasizi

Understand that those are your children and no matter the kind of life you give them, it doesn’t replace a mother’s love and care.

Get your husband to assist you

Samuel Ochora

Sit down with your husband and work out how to build your family but at the same time make a comfortable living. There is no point in working like a horse when you have a husband who can help.

You need to take it slow

Alexia Nkurikiye

People breakdown and I think it is about to happen to you. The most important thing in life isn’t a huge pay.

You can’t stop now

Paul M

I understand that you want to spend time with your family but you also need to keep paying the bills. If you stop working, you will not be able to give your kids the life you have already gotten them used to. Eventually, they will resent you for it.

Ask your husband for help

Fridah Ingabire

You are married, let your husband step up and help you around the home too. This isn’t a one man cross to carry. You need time with your daughters.

Family is the most important thing

Vanessa P

Wealth can be taken away from you in one day but the quality time you spend with your children is a long lasting memory. Choose wisely.

Women are multi-taskers

Jane U.K

Women are known to be multi-taskers, this means you can’t wail about how to balance work and family. You should have found a solution already that does not involve quiting. Your family needs you, just try to leave work in the office and make them a priority when you go home.

Invest in your kids

Zean Kwibuka

My dear, invest in those children and one day you will sleep knowing you gave everything for your children to have a bright future.