…make loud and uncomfortable observations. The other day I met a friend who quickly earned herself space on this page. Even before she could give me hug, I was waiting for, she shouted, "Oh my God you are so fat.”

Well of course I know I have put on some extra kilos here and there to prove that Africa is not a continent of starving people, but do you have to make a public announcement? What if I also shouted that you are short; or that you are wearing fake hair, probably from a dead Indian lady? Why do people think it is ok to behave like thinking is an option? Your opinion about others does not have to be broadcast like it is 9pm news.

…confuse a mere lunch break for a weekend. Do you know those very annoying people often employed by government to serve us but instead look at their work as a miraculous favour they do for society? I am talking about the ones who leave their offices for a lunch break at 12pm sharp and return a few minutes before 5pm only to pick the coat they left hanging on their chair.

As you wait for them, their bored secretaries keep reminding you of how the boss is out for lunch. Lunch or a whole weekend? What kind of lunch break is that? Maybe the boss literally leaves office and goes hunting and later looks for firewood to make the food he is to eat for lunch. These people are the reason we are still a developing nation.

…take your seat and become arrogant about it. There are times when I wish I had a court order that allows me to kick someone’s teeth out. I am sure you all feel you could punch the living day lights out of those fools who think seat numbers on bus or air tickets are mere decorations. They book for one seat but go ahead to sit in another seat that clearly doesn’t belong to them.

They do not even shy away from telling you how it is ok for you to go and sit in the one they had booked like stupidity is now a cool thing. If you cannot read then it is different. But an adult who can read but does this deserves to have their teeth knocked out so their mouth can look as empty as their brains.

…explain compliments instead simply being appreciative. For some people, good manners seem to be nothing but a taboo. I mean how do we explain the existence of people who think it is necessary to explain compliments before being appreciative? You tell someone that their hair looks nice and they start telling you how they go to an expensive hairdresser in town.

Such lousy responses only make me think such people got a cool hairstyle but left their brains in the beauty salon. Others will even tell you how much it cost them to get that new hair piece and you wish they had could get a refund for all their education. When I say something nice, it is only right that you respond with a simple thank you. I am not interested in your explanations right now.

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