My friends always laugh at my ‘big size’ which makes me uneasy. How can I regain my confidence?

Keza

Dear Keza,

You don’t have to feel so ashamed when people laugh at your size. This is a cruel world we live in. People enjoy laughing and mocking others. Even comedians and film makers usually make fun of fat people but that does not mean they are inferior to the slender ones.

Movies are made about fat people. That’s the way things are. Human beings have different body shapes and this may be hereditary.  If you are feeling ashamed when someone laughs at you, the question here is; what are you going to do about it? Are you going to complain? Are you going to go home, sit on the bed and silently cry? Will you shout at those harassing you and make them laugh at you further? Ultimately, this is not even about them. It’s a battle within you which begins with your own attitude about yourself.

The reason is that nobody can say something that hurts you if you do not secretly believe it yourself. This is an eternal truth. Deep in your heart, you may have regret, shame, disappointment, anger and even hatred towards yourself for being that fat. You may even lie to yourself and think that you have always been this way and can’t change. There is only one way out of this. You must change and do whatever it takes to get into shape. You need to eat right, learn whatever you need to, about fitness, till you transform yourself. Forget about those who laugh at you. You will have the last laugh.

Take for instance if you were grossly overweight but you had a Phd. in mathematics, and someone told you that you were an uneducated fool, would you be offended? No, you wouldn’t, because you know who you are. Then you work even harder. Try to do routine physical exercises like jogging, lifting weights and make your body active most of the time. It may take you a long time to get there but you finally will because you have what it takes to make it.

The writer is a counsellor

YOUR ADVICE

Margaret Kusasira     

Keza, just be proud of who you are and you will find peace and comfort. Once your friends realise you don’t care about what they think, will start respecting you. As your friends waste time talking about you, just concentrate on your studies.

Moris Muhindo               

The only way to avoid feeling uneasy is by working on your confidence. Low self esteem can affect both your social and academic life. Simply be who you are and you will see positive results.

Sylvia Munyana        

I understand what you are going through because I was once a victim during my school days. I was called so many names but ignored that and moved on with my life. I suggest you mind your business.

Godfrey Katabazi          

Being fat is not bad and should therefore not bother you. Let your friends talk until they get tired. Don’t even show them that you are hurt by their statements lest they make it a habit to provoke you.