A young widow's tale of sadness, despair and perseverance

Jeanine Mukabacondo is a high spirited woman, full of joy and hope, but every now and then, she is haunted by the tragedy that befell her recently. She talks about her late husband with a smile, though some memories are so hard to talk about without holding back tears.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Mukabacondo with her son Kenzo at their home. (Donah Mbabazi)

Jeanine Mukabacondo is a high spirited woman, full of joy and hope, but every now and then, she is haunted by the tragedy that befell her recently. She talks about her late husband with a smile, though some memories are so hard to talk about without holding back tears.

The fact that she refers to her husband in present tense makes it clear that to her, he is very much alive and continues to live inside her heart.

Patrick Kanyamibwa died this year on September 10 leaving behind his 29-year-old wife and a four-year-old son, Kenzo Mugisha Kanyamibwa.

Kanyamibwa was a journalist who fervently promoted gospel music in the country. He died in a road accident at a tender age of 32.

"It’s been a few months since my beloved husband passed away; his death was so sudden. The pain is still fresh and I only survive through tears. It’s hard for me to accept that he is gone but this is the bitter truth I have to live with.

"It hurts even more when our son asks about his dad; he misses him a lot because they were so close. Kenzo thinks his dad went to work because those were the last words he said to him that fateful day. Patrick’s memory will forever stay with me; he was the love of my life, my friend and a loving father to our son,” Mukabacondo narrates.

Though life has turned from sweet to bitter, Mukabacondo has faith and has kept her spirits high. She is determined to make ends meet and keep her husband’s legacy alive.

Mukabacondo during the interview at her home. (Donah Mbabazi)

She says that before her husband’s passing, they had a lot of plans for the future and she therefore plans on executing whatever has to be done because she believes her husband will be proud of her.

"Life has changed but as a woman I have to be strong because my partner is gone and I’m left alone. I have to think because I believe that concentrating on something gives someone guidance. I don’t want his name to vanish and I believe I will achieve whatever we had planned together because I know this is what he would have wanted. I believe that there is nothing that takes God by surprise, though to us there are things which exceed our understanding. But still I thank God for the life we have today, the fact that we are doing well is all because of God’s mercy,” she adds.

That fateful day

They met in 2006 and the young couple’s life was just beginning to blossom, only to be cut short by the death of Patrick. They were very close and that is why they were together even in the hour of his death.

"It was drizzling on that fateful evening and I had gone to see him in town. I had this overwhelming need to meet Patrick and it scared me, I had weird feelings like as if something terrible was about to happen. Little did I know that that would be our last evening together.

The family on a day out at the beach before tragedy struck. (Courtesy)

"A few minutes after we parted ways, I got a call and I was told that Patrick was involved in a terrible accident. I rushed to find him in Kibagabaga Hospital where he had been taken but he was already gone. My beloved husband had passed away.

"We had spent four years together and on the 14th of this month, I celebrated our fifth anniversary. I was joined by Patrick’s dad, family and friends. Sometimes I feel like his death is a bad dream and hope that someday I might wake up from it,” Mukabacondo sadly narrates.

She advises other women in a similar situation not to lose hope and keep fighting because life is full of surprises.

"They shouldn’t lose hope and should maintain their dignity and also keep the legacy of their late loved ones. A woman who decides to remarry isn’t a bad idea because it’s an act of heroism, but they should never forget the plans they had, they should indeed strive to work hard to achieve them.

"There are women in greater pain than mine because some even lost children, but what I can tell them is to dedicate their lives to God and live a prayerful life,” she says.

She is greatly thankful to all those people who stayed close in her hour need. "I thank family and friends and also the generous heart of the staff of Family TV. Patrick was buried in honor and it was all because of them,” Mukabacondo says.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw