The million-franc question is: Which is more lethal to the brain and general body metabolism between Super Gin, and Kombucha?

Which one transports the consumer quicker to cloud 9, 10, 16 … whatever cloud it is that the booze generals of SG and Kombucha now fly off to after they’ve imbibed one too many?

That is what drinks that fall under the category of "kill me quick” make their guzzlers to do. In fact, Kombucha and SG are not called drinks –they are ‘kill me quicks’.

I have talked to a staunch Super Gin fan about his choice of drink, and staring down with contempt at my petite Knowless, the Super Gin ambassador wasted no time in handing me down a verbal beating:

Why are we even going on about Super Gin? In all fairness, SG is not the man-in-the-news, for the moment at least.

That accolade belongs instead to Super Gin’s partner-in-crime, the wrongly-spelt but rightly-pronounced Kombucha.

The known Kombucha generals around my Umudugudu call it ‘Kambucha’, which is indeed more catchy to the ear than the correct spelling.

Super Gin drinkers are not the hardest thing to spot from a crowd, because for one, they have secret code names that reflect the number of gin tots a particular Super Gin general pops in a single day.

One of them, who is well-known to me, goes by the code name; "Joel Eddy Kuku Bohemian Life Mutokambali”, while another calls himself Mucecuru. Yet another is known as "African Bush Pastor Joseph Inzoga Odeke Kadingo”.

I once tried Super Gin, and the sensation I got was one that could best be described as ‘red hot-hot. More fire out of the tot”.

That was the first time I tried it. And the last.

Which is not to say that there is really anything sinfully wrong about Super Gin. Otherwise, like Kombucha, it would be off the dusty and rickety wooden shelves in your neighborhood boutique.

Talking of some things going off boutique shelves, thank heavens for the timely return of the original Sardines as we once knew them. Hello?!

The ones that you can get at Rw f 400, or if you are a skilled haggler, even at Rwf 50 less from the sprawling Nyabugogo food basket. Who wants to buy a mere can of sardines at Rwf 700, when the same can buy one a chilled king-size Primus?