When the ego is not stroked, expect jealousy

I am not an envious person, but if a lady I’m interested in flirts with some hot guy, then I am likely to turn “green”. It might sound a bit harsh but that’s how most people feel when they feel they are about to be “ambushed”.

Thursday, January 23, 2014
Dean Karemera

I am not an envious person, but if a lady I’m interested in flirts with some hot guy, then I am likely to turn "green”. It might sound a bit harsh but that’s how most people feel when they feel they are about to be "ambushed”.

It all starts when the "antennas” start sending red-alert signal messages and you begin to ask yourself, "Why do they seem so happy to talk to each other?” This alone is enough for some people to raise hell. 

  It is that type of war that goes on in our minds when we feel threatened on the love front. I don’t condone such manners, besides it’s only human for blood to boil when someone is trying to play stupid games with our hearts, but we need to be mindful of the fact that we’re prone to overreacting to the perceived threat.

  We tend to have a phobia for strangers who come into our lives even when they are imaginary. Being jealous is a simple sign that something might not be right and it brings about insecurity. Some people attract jealousy because they are naturally outgoing and socially confident. They get along with everyone easily and are easily likeable. 

  This is fine until the other someone seems to take interest and then all hell breaks loose. Interestingly, when someone has no sinister motive, people find the person more attractive.  

  However much as it is human nature to be jealous, it is a common scenario in this age and era where people have turned into human predators. A man snatches another man’s wife, a girl takes another girl’s boyfriend and the games continue. When this cycle happens, a lot of energy and emotion is spent on being jealous. Some egos constantly need to be stroked, and if the one we choose to stroke us doesn’t do it, then all hell breaks loose.

  So, how does one avoid this? For me, it’s to do whatever it takes to release the stress. Self-confidence and open, honest communication is the key. I know it sounds serious and boring, but it’s true. For example, if you get rubbed the wrong way because she’s spending a lot of time chatting with another dude, walk up to her and happily introduce yourself - include all your titles. 

  If she doesn’t give you the eye, then all is well. However, if the antennas detect a cold response or are made to feel like an intruder, something is up. Tell her it’s time to go home, and then crucify her when you get there. The direct and honest approach is not the easiest way to go, but in the end it’s the best.