I recently read about a couple in an ‘open’ long distance relationship. This, my ‘slow’ friends means they are allowed to ‘see’ other people. What I don’t understand about this arrangement is the fact that for some reason, the couple is still together and are in fact planning a wedding next year. Crazy business I tell you.

Apparently, they are only allowed to ‘get physical’ once the ‘side dish’ has been approved. Yes, they have to make sure the other approves of the newcomer. Also, they are not allowed to fall in love – should the relationship get heavy, it is ended immediately. They can only be in love with each other. And I thought crazy was old fashioned.

Since they live worlds apart, the decision to calm their sexual appetite by others was actually quite easy. They figured phone sex and web cams weren’t quite close to the ‘real thing’ and took a more realistic approach.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that people in long distance relationships shouldn’t sit around waiting for their partner’s to come back so they can get their freak on. I’m saying, no one appreciates honesty the way that I do. Waiting ‘forever’ for someone can’t be that easy –there will come that time when having a boyfriend whose house you can storm in the middle of the night after tequila shots with the girls seems pretty smart.

"I understand a guy who goes upcountry and comes back to town over the weekends. That I can deal with. What am I doing dating a guy who is not even on the same continent with me? That would cease being my boyfriend and make him a pen pal!” said a friend when asked how she would handle ‘not getting some’ till her man gets back.

"Well, for a chick whose libido isn’t that exciting, I’d say for me, waiting would be a piece of a cake. Sure, there is that one time when I do feel like…you know…but it can be controlled,” said another chick.

I personally know about a guy who on the day he left the country, assured his girlfriend that even with the way he loved her, he couldn’t promise that he would be faithful. He proceeded to tell her to try to move on with her life and that if they ever got back together, it would be destiny. But because some chicks insist on comparing their lives to the gibberish in Mills and Boon novels, she told him she would wait.

It was okay at first; they would Skype, chat on Facebook, share pictures on Instagram and all that. The communication slowed down and before she could even click send on her next Facebook message to him, he had changed his profile picture. What is wrong with that, you will ask. Instead of his usual face, was a chick smiling like she owned his wall. 

She quickly erased her previous message and thanked the gods that she hadn’t yet sent it, she then replaced it with question marks…explain the chick! He either genuinely doesn’t check his inbox that often or he was simply avoiding the question for as long as he could because it took him forever to respond. He apologized and told her it was not his intention to lie to her and that there was just no way he could have stayed faithful to her. In his defense, he kind of let her know this was coming. She just chose to ignore it.  What would you do?