Many expatriates first encounter Rwanda through its clean orderly streets, welcoming people, business opportunities and growing international connections. Those who stay longer discover a country whose everyday life carries a deeper historical significance. Behind its reconstruction lies a sustained effort to restore traditional old relationships, rebuild institutions and establish a shared future after devastation.

Two Kinyarwanda words help explain that effort: Ubumwe, meaning unity, and Ubudaheranwa, meaning resilience or the determination to withstand adversity, recover and continue building.

For foreigners who live and work in Rwanda, understanding these concepts can deepen their relationship with the country. They illuminate why belonging, remembrance, dignity and responsibility matter so profoundly to Rwandans. They also invite reflection on how expatriates can participate respectfully in the society that welcomes them.

A translation provides a starting point. History gives the words their full weight.

Rwanda existed as a political and cultural community long before colonial rule. Its people, Abanyarwanda, lived together, shared a language, cultural practices and a relationship with the country that cannot adequately be explained through the familiar foreign shorthand of competing "tribes”.

Precolonial Rwanda had hierarchies, inequalities and conflicts, which deserve serious examination. Colonial racial theories nevertheless transformed existing social distinctions, attaching supposed racial origins and unequal worth to communities within the same country. Belgian authorities institutionalised ethnic classification through identity documents, making those distinctions more rigid. (peacekeeping.un.org⁠)

After independence, successive governments perpetuated exclusion and persecution. For many Tutsi, access to education, employment and security was constrained by who they were. Repeated violence drove families into exile. The 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi emerged from this history of discrimination, organised hatred and political choices. It was a planned campaign of destruction, rather than an inexplicable eruption of ancient animosity. (un.org⁠)

This history explains why unity in Rwanda carries consequences far beyond an appeal for people to get along. Rebuilding the country required confronting an idea that had become deadly: that some Rwandans belonged less than others, and that their identity could justify exclusion or extermination.

Ubumwe affirms a shared country in which citizenship, dignity and opportunity must belong to all. Its credibility depends on how people are treated in schools, workplaces, public institutions and communities. Equal belonging must become an everyday rich experience.

The expression Ndi Umunyarwanda"(I am Rwandan) captures this emphasis on shared national identity. It invites citizens to place their common belonging at the centre of their relationship with one another. Rwanda’s unity and reconciliation programmes have incorporated this principle into the wider effort to rebuild social cohesion. (minubumwe.gov.rw⁠)

That does not require historical amnesia. A society cannot repair persecution by refusing to identify who was persecuted or why. Nor can unity rest on collective guilt. Responsibility for crimes belongs to those who committed, directed or enabled them, according to the evidence. Children do not inherit criminal responsibility from their parents.

The task is to preserve historical truth while ensuring that inherited identities do not determine a person’s rights, opportunities or worth. Foreign residents should understand this distinction before interpreting Rwanda through categories drawn from another country’s experience.

Ubudaheranwa addresses another dimension of reconstruction: the capacity to live, act and build after profound adversity.

In ordinary English, resilience can sound like an admirable personality trait. In Rwanda, it carries the weight of lives rebuilt after the murder of relatives, the destruction of homes, displacement and the collapse of institutions. It includes a survivor raising children while carrying grief, a family recovering its livelihood, and a community learning to restore trust where betrayal had once made neighbourliness dangerous.

Resilience also has an institutional dimension. People need functioning services, education, economic opportunity and protection from violence. Asking individuals to be strong while leaving them without support is insufficient. Recovery requires conditions in which their determination can bear fruit.

This is why Rwanda’s reconstruction should be understood through both human effort and public responsibility. Citizens’ initiative matters. So do institutions capable of addressing injustice, providing services and helping vulnerable people regain control over their lives.

However, resilience must never become a demand that survivors appear permanently strong. Grief has no uniform timetable. A person can work, raise a family and contribute to society while still living with deep wounds. Rwanda’s continuing reconciliation journey includes people whose suffering remains unresolved. (un.org⁠)

Recognising progress therefore requires sensitivity to what remains difficult. The dignity of survivors includes their right to seek support, to speak when they choose and to decline to speak when they do not. Just appreciate and respect that.

Unity and resilience reinforce each other. Shared belonging makes recovery less lonely and collective action more possible. Resilience helps communities sustain that belonging through hardship. Together, they express a commitment to prevent the past from determining the limits of the future.

For expatriates, the first practical responsibility is to learn.

Learning should extend beyond a brief introduction to the country or a single visit to a memorial. It means approaching Rwanda’s history through credible records, informed discussion and careful listening. It also means understanding that the people one meets are individuals with different experiences, perspectives and responsibilities.

A Rwandan colleague should not have to serve as an unpaid interpreter of the entire country. A survivor should not be expected to recount personal suffering because a visitor is curious. Trust develops when questions are asked with sensitivity and when boundaries are respected. I did and still do in Europe, the Americas and Africa. Expatriates in Rwanda would benefit from this.

Remembrance deserves particular care. Kwibuka means remembering. For those like me who lost relatives in the Genocide against the Tutsi, commemoration can involve intensely personal grief alongside a public responsibility to preserve truth. Foreign residents should approach commemorative activities with the seriousness they deserve, following organisers’ guidance and seeking consent before recording or sharing anyone’s testimony.

Language matters, too. Referring accurately to the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi identifies the people targeted and the nature of the crime. Terms such as "tribal clashes” conceal organisation, responsibility and intent. Precision is an obligation to history and to those whose lives were destroyed.

The same care should extend to casual conversations, professional reports and social media. An unsupported claim can travel far beyond the setting in which it was first repeated. Living in Rwanda does not automatically make someone an authority on Rwanda. We have so-called Experts quoted or used as references by many of European and American governments. Are they really experts on Rwanda or Africa? They are not, across the board. With genuine thirst to know more they could become experts on Rwanda and Africa.

Foreign residents can also contribute through the ordinary conduct of their working lives. Fair recruitment, respectful supervision, proper recognition of expertise and equal treatment strengthen the relationships on which a cohesive society depends.

An international organisation that speaks about partnership should examine whose knowledge shapes its decisions. A business that praises Rwanda’s opportunities should consider how it develops its employees. A researcher should ask whether Rwandan contributors receive appropriate recognition. These choices give practical meaning to respect.

Learning Kinyarwanda, even gradually, can help. Greetings and everyday expressions demonstrate an interest in meeting people within their own linguistic world. Friendships beyond expatriate circles, engagement with local cultural life and respectful participation in community activities can also deepen understanding.

Rwandan institutions have a responsibility here as well. Employers, universities, diplomatic missions and organisations receiving foreign staff should provide thoughtful orientation on history, remembrance, civic life and professional conduct. Rwanda’s Ministry of National Unity and Civic Engagement already identifies historical memory, national unity and citizenship education as central responsibilities. Those themes offer a sound foundation for welcoming foreign residents into a better-informed relationship with the country. (minubumwe.gov.rw⁠)

Such orientation should encourage serious questions. Unity is strengthened by fairness, accountability and the ability to address problems. Resilience includes the capacity to recognise shortcomings and correct them. Neither value becomes stronger through shallow praise.

Foreign residents should feel able to contribute informed criticism, while grounding their judgments in evidence and an understanding of context. Respect for sovereignty and African agency requires recognising Rwandans as authors of their country’s future, with the authority and responsibility to shape it.

Rwanda’s welcome creates an opportunity for relationships that go beyond temporary residence. Expatriates may bring skills, investment, ideas and friendships. They also have much to learn from a society that has confronted devastation and undertaken the demanding work of rebuilding.

Ubumwe n’Ubudaheranwa asks us all to understand the human commitments behind that work: belonging without exclusion, remembrance with truth, recovery with dignity, and progress through shared responsibility.

For those who make Rwanda their home, these values can guide a simple daily question: does the way I live and work here strengthen the trust, dignity and opportunity of the people around me?