A letter to my sister, the single mother

Sheroe, You always think you made a mistake according to society perception. But remember some mistakes pave way to success and blessings. Who doesn’t know that children are a blessing? I want you to believe you are strong, powerful, and able to do what many are unable to do. You are amazing and wonderful! 

I am not here to tell women and young girls to be single mothers but I am here to encourage those who find themselves in this situation, to know that they still hold great value, deserve happiness and have the right to live the life they have been dreaming of.

Getting an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t stop your life. Instead, like the saying goes, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” There will always be doors waiting for you to unlock. You are a treasure and precious to your family and society. You are special because you have gone through the pain that is hard for some of us to understand.

We got to know that you were chased away from home. They think of you as a curse (ikirumbo).  You were forced to marry someone you don’t love when you were not ready. They forget that you brought joy to the family and that some parents got honoured to be called grandparents because of you. Who doesn’t want to have grandchildren? Because you agreed to become a mother, we have nieces and nephews.

You refused to abort. You refused to leave your child on the road and run away. You refused to send him to your parents so he would grow up thinking you are his sibling, or so that society never gets to know you are a single mother.

I always wonder why it only affects the girl but not the boy. Why is that? Don’t we all know that a child is a product of two people? This is why I feel that I can be a voice to those who are unseen and unnoticed. Society doesn’t need to condemn you or put you down.                    

I know that being a mother is not giving birth but it is what you feel in your heart. We cannot forget the fact that you stood the pressure and gossip of society and decided to raise your child, discipline him, send him to school, defend him, love him unconditionally and let know who his father is. Remember children are human and they have senses. They will understand if you give them the chance to know what happened. Do not make him grow up hating his father. It is a choice he will have to make after he gets to know the truth.

Stand tall, hold on to your values and continue to dream and to fight to achieve your goals. Do not think you lost your dignity, rights, or the essence of who you really are. Raise your child and also take care of yourself by eating healthy. Strive to live a good life. Learn from the experience and do not curse your child.  He is a blessing that will make you work hard and set more goals. It is always wonderful when we turn challenges into opportunities.

Continue being the dreamer you have been. The difference between you and married mothers is that you are the badass who is managing to do it alone where others have helpers. This is that why I see you as “SHEROE.” God bless you.

sansdoutemag@gmail.com

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