KWEZI AND I: Of unexplainable tantrums

Bishumba and her Kwezi

Children, as I have always said, have an interesting way of giving a unique perspective to many things without trying at all. Kwezi is at a point in her growth that most people call ‘sweet’. Out of seven days, I agree with them on that, at least for five of them, and for that, I am thankful. The other two days, I am sometimes tempted to put her up for adoption. At least for a day.

Kwezi is generally a peaceful child. All I have to do is switch on the laptop and she will be ready to spend one hour in one position, sucking her thumb, and watching cartoon after cartoon. For bonding reasons, I still feign excitement when she clicks on ‘Moana’ and claps her hands gleefully like we are not about to watch the movie the one hundredth time. Luckily, I like ‘The Rock’ who is one of the main characters in the animation.

But I guess there are reasons why there are senseless conflicts all around us because even when we are mostly a peaceful pair, there are moments like this particular time as I write this where this young lady cannot be pleased about anything. It’s only 11am in the morning and I think this could be the eleventh time that she is crying. Reason?

None whatsoever. I am yet to see a human being who just looks at the wall and bursts into tears and begins crying like she has just received bad news. I had to look at the wall for one full minute to be sure that I am not missing something. Is she seeking attention? Is she sick? I was even about to add hunger to the list of what could be wrong but unless she just swallowed all world hunger problems, then there is no way. There is always drama, so for effect, she throws herself to the ground and stretches her arms and starts calling my name. I have tried ignoring her but the screaming is not the kind you can. So I am at a point where I doubt my parenting skills because I cave in and hold her, hug her and even apologise for tears whose source I am unaware of.

I can’t help but feel like I am encouraging blackmail because the same formula is being used when she needs something. I keep telling myself that it’s temporary. I feel consoled when the nannies tell me that her behaviour is totally different when I am away. Is it her need for attention or am I spoiling her? I can’t stop wondering.


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