Rachel’s Ramblings:If you can, skip the movies on a first date

Most people opt for things like dinner and movies for the first date. Now, I don’t know about dinner but the cinema should be a no go area until you have already had the chance to get to know one another. While you want your date to be fun and lively, the first date purpose is not to be entertaining. The reason for a first date with anyone is to see whether you want to date them a second time. The whole dating procedure is a screening process to help you find that special someone. This is precisely why going to the movies is actually a poor choice for a first date. Okay the truth is you will be close. So close in fact that the smell of his cologne will linger at the tip of your nose. But this doesn’t mean you will be talking. No one goes to the cinema to talk really! This lack of communication is an impediment to your plan of getting to know him better. You might as well go to a library, sit on a sofa together and read books! Without dialogue and exchange of opinion or views, you will never be able to determine if he is worth a second try or just a complete waste of time. And that goes both ways, incase you are wondering. He needs to know that you are interesting and that you might just be the girl he is looking for. So maybe men are sharp and know how to cover their tracks till you are well within his boundary and getting out seems harder than chopping a tree with a butter knife. But there are some traits that are bound to betray him even without his notice; for instance arrogance, an abnormally large ego and the inability to be polite, not even in front of a potential spouse. It just makes sense to try and determine these vices before you are swept off your feet by his movie watching skills. Let’s face it; all you will notice during the movie is whether he likes butter on is popcorn. Personally, I would recommend dinner but if you insist on going for a movie, keep your eyes open and your ears sharpened! Prior to the date, watch out for any controlling or selfish behavior. Nothing tells you more about character than someone who selfishly picks out a movie with no regards whatsoever to the person they are going to watch it with. In other words, he should be willing to compromise. Will he respect your preferences or will he laugh and rubbish them? If he chooses a bloody movie, most likely about zombies taking over the world, ask him why he prefers that over your lively comedy. This will be your first hint on his consideration as well as your insight into his taste in entertainment. During the movie, try and pay attention lest he asks what you enjoyed the most and all you did was gawk at his perfect profile! Rather, at the end of the movie, try and discuss what you both liked. The actual answers are irrelevant; what you are looking out for are opinions, values and attitudes that will suggest more about him. If he’s opinions are childish then that means he is not mature enough for a long-term relationship. For example, if he gets really excited during the scene where the bad guys gun down a restaurant full of people and even asking you if you would like a soda refill is not in the cards, you have a problem. Life to him is nothing more than a video game and you can couple up that with the fact that he has some serious anti-social predisposition issues! I might be wrong but then again I might be right. It’s all about luck I guess. Try and remember that the first date is always a test and that you are simply evaluating the prospects. You see, finding Mr. Ballistic is a lengthy process. Have fun but also try to get as acquainted as possible. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk