I think it’s reasonable!
Why people still pay bride price is beyond me but that is not today’s topic. You see bride price to me just sounds so 50 Centuries ago that it’s a shock people still take it seriously. The thing every father tells his maturing daughter is ‘my girl, get married quickly so they can give me cows!’
Okay, so yes it feels nice that a boy would want to shower your parents with gifts just for bringing you into this world and his life. But then again, in my opinion, that is a price tag put on you and a man’s excuse to treat you the way he wants. And who knows what anyone else is worth, anyway? No amount of chubby cows and whatever else there is to give can be enough.
That is why if people are going to insist on bride price then I think it’s only fair that women chip in too. Even better, let some genius come up with another name where parents of both parties exchange gifts- like parental price or something! I’m just saying.
Why should the girl’s parents be honored as if the boy came from out of space? Let both parties find suitable gifts to give each other as parents of the newlyweds. Or if that is too complicated, then let bride price just be banned as a whole and let Africans or whoever else believes in it continue copying the West and go for dinner with the folks then get married in front of 20 people and call it a night!
Seriously we (Africans especially) tend to spend way too much money on things that should matter less. I’m not saying bride price is bad or wrong, it’s just a luxury we cannot afford; unless Africa isn’t as poor as I thought it was!
Not to get carried away, as long as bride price is still around, women should contribute as well. I mean it is simply thanking the folks for bringing you into the world and raising you in the finest way they could till you were ready to move on. But before you scamper off into marital bliss, as a couple, the most important thing to bear in mind is partnership.
It’s not about who has more or who is supposed to do it or who does it better. Do it together. Think up something real nice for both parental parties and hand it over to them on D-Day. The boys parents must be considered in equal proportion because he is human too, not an alien or a box!
Women talk about equality and what not, but true equality comes from doing things together. If you sit back waiting for the man to give hordes of plump cattle to your parents then you best believe that those hordes he paid will not go in vain. His actions everyday will tell you one thing and one thing only- I own you!
So do it together. Do not give him the satisfaction of treating you like his own personal chef, waitress, dishwasher, iron, washing machine, house cleaner, babysitter and baby making machine! The bride price you paid together suggests partnership and that means if a woman can go to the kitchen to cook then by God, so can a man.
This ‘marriage association’ is a two way street. Let it start from the day you gaze into each others eyes and see the stars and all that nonsense till the day you realize life won’t be much fun if you do not tie the knot.