Women sue men for being unromantic

“All rise! Now you can take your seat! My name is Mary, I’m the prosecutor and the case I’m presenting to this honorable court is one of women against men. Among other crimes, men are accused of not treating women with respect, lack sensitivity and for being unromantic! “Over the years men have been closely monitored on the way they treat the women in their lives’ especially in public. Today the prosecuting team came to the conclusion (of course with enough evidence) that men are guilty as pronounced,” Mary announced. Before the judge came to the verdict, Mary asked the plaintiffs and defendants to step forward. Standing in the witness stand, the first woman swore. “Every word I’m going to say in this court is the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.” “Your honor,” she started “ask any woman the qualities of their ideal man, the kind of man they wish to spend the rest of their lives with, and you’ll he is that they desire a gentleman, someone who doesn’t lie, cheat and who will treat me with respect!” “These days, we are treated like second class citizens in our marriages. All you will ever hear is Arsenal, Champion’s league, bla bla bla. Every time you ask where he spent half the night, he will turn on the auto answer, “working late” or “can we talk about this later?” argued the first woman. Before the men were given a chance to defend themselves, one gentleman in his mid-thirties clad in an immaculate pinstriped suit stepped forward, bowed to the judge and said, “your honor, all the cases we are being accused of are true!” The man in the pinstripe suit, cleared his throat and continued, to say that men treat women according to the way they carry themselves. He said that he was a living example of such a case. “When I first met Sally my estranged wife, she was the perfect lady but by the time we separated, she had changed from the woman I once knew to become a total stranger! She started wearing low cut-jeans and baby tops. I do not know what happened to her hair, it was replaced by some synthetic sisal-thing called ‘Plant,’ sometimes she would colour her head red or green, her lips purple and her eyebrows pink! The colours of her fingernails depended on her mood. Now tell me, how I can treat someone like that as a queen?” asked the man in the pinstripe suit. “Women complain that we do not call them from work,” he continued, “of course we do not! I used to call Sally but before she could reply my ‘hello’, she would start bombarding me with more missiles than NATO fired at Benghazi. “Your honor, if women want respect, let them respect themselves. “However, if you respect yourself but your man abuses you, do something about it! If you love and respect yourself, do not choose to be treated like dirt. If you do not do a thing about it, you will be allowing him to abuse you even more. “Remember people are going to treat you exactly as you treat yourself. If you are in an abusive relationship, jump right out! New doors cannot open until old ones close. You cannot expect to meet anyone decent if you stay where you are. You have to change to invite change. You have the power to do this,” explained the man in the pinstripe suit. At the end of the session, the court was adjourned with recommendations from both the men and women. They agreed to change their behavior toward each other in a bid to revive the spirit of romanticism in their relationships. martin.bishop18@yahoo.com